I spoke with 'Joycie' on the phone today, and she says that she comes on every day, and reads, but doesn't seem to have much to say. She says she isn't sure if she wants company, or "NO" company, & she doesn't know "HOW" she is feeling, but is more in a daze. I told her that I, and we, were here to support her, in any way we can, even if it means to go-away! I suspect about 89.9 percent of you'all, may know exactly how she is feeling, or close anyway.

The good news is, she has a wonderful, and loving immediate family, and even her friends, from up North, have promised to come back down (they came to the memorial) after her children & grand children, leave. And she has "US" and she knows it, and she really appreciates us, because no one else really knows, what the last couple, or ten years, of her life were like.

We LOVE you Joycie!

Don't go away Nancy. I need all of you more than ever right now.

You're right, I don't know how I feel I know there is a heavy feeling in my chest and and empty feeling in my heart.

I've tried to be strong for the kids, but I"m afraid I am not doing a very good job of it. The kids all left today but my sister is spending the night with me. I'm not sure but she is probably in her room on her computer just as I am in my room on mine. She will have to leave tomorrow so tomorrow night will be the first night I"ll be alone. I think I'm looking forward to it, just so I can stop pretending for others.

I"m having the hardest time around our second daughter because she lost her husband four years ago and I know she is reliving that. '

As you all know, we hadn't seen or heard from Bill's family in over two years, but they were all at the funeral. Telling me how they know what I've been through for the last ten years. Telling me to call them if I needed any help. I did tell one of them that I could have used their help before but that I didn't need any help now. One of them said that they didn't know what to say but I told him not to worry about it because it was too late now. Catherine told me that Bill's sister told her to tell me that if I needed to go somewhere or do something to call them. She thought, "Sure she will. You don't know my mother. She's not going to ask you for anything." They don't know me but our daughter does. I was nice to all of them but I didn't go out of my way to invite them over any time soon. I haven't heard from any of them since the day of the funeral. Really don't expect to until maybe next Christmas when they have the family Christmas party.

You're right again Nancy, I have a great family, wonderful children, grandchildren and friends. Not forgetting the friends I have here. The neighbors from up north haven't missed a day calling. They plan on coming back as soon as everyone leaves because they don't think I should be alone.

I love you all and when I feel I can help others here without crying my eyes out I'll join in and not just read.

Call anytime Nancy, just remember the time difference is TWO hours.

Love you,

Oh Joyce, I just can't imagine what you are going through right now. Don't try to be too strong for the kids, they'll be ok. If you don't let this all out hon, you are going to break. Please know that we are always here for you. Take a break for a few days with us too if you have to. It's ok. Maybe you just need to be alone a bit and grieve. We know you'll always come back here for us. But right now, our concern is for you.

Take care my friend,
Jackie

You and Snick will get my tears in a few weeks, Jackie.

Take care and best wishes with the upcoming surgery. No delays, I hope.

Your tears will be welcome in my home anytime! We've all certainly shared enough of those before, and are quite good at it. I'll just keep on feeding you. That's what always helps me. Oh Lori and Snicks, stop rolling your eyes!

jackie

Oh Joycie (I don't know where that name came from? But now, it is yours!) Now "I" am in tears...I am "SUCH" a Cry-Baby! I guess I bought your stoic act, what an idot, I invented it? Anyway, your dear sweet daughter, wrote me a private message today, and thanked me, for being so supportive for you. I was just "Whew" relieved, because when she had answered the phone, at your house (at an appropriate time!) she was like "WHO IS THIS?" Remember, you said she was just being protective? I am just glad that she, & you, don't think I am being a Butt-In-Ski!

And I "KNOW" it is two hours difference now, so no worries!

I will just leave "MY" phone on, a little longer, at night, so you can call "ME" if you have to, O.K? O.K. You're the best, and we Love you, and you are going to be all right.

Joyce, Just do what you need to do in the coming days. Don't worry about feeling like you need to post every day or entertain people or make phone calls. I'd love to see you concentrate on you for once. I can understand the feelings of wanting to be alone and being able to just let it all out privately. It is then when the real healing starts, I think.

You and my mother shared the same quality...she was very much a self do-er and wouldn't ask for help either. She figured if people didn't have sense enough to offer help, she wasn't going to ask. I have found myself doing the same.

Take care and I will see you in just a few weeks:) I am so looking forward to this and can't wait until we can meet.

Oh Joyce, your daughters are like me - when someone would call for mom early on, I would be grilling them as to who they were (I was afraid it was a salesperson or someone trying to take advantage of her). Don't post if you can't, we all understand. I can't even read here half the time without crying, I can only imagine how it feels for you.

Don't worry Joyce, we aren't going anywhere. You don't need to post anything. Just let us continue to support you. There are a lot of us on this board who have gone through this and understand what you are feeling. Just know that we are always here for you.

[font=Comic Sans MS] [/font] Friends are here for eternity!!!