I know that it has been a while since I’ve posted. I want to thank Jackie, Lori, Karenlee, BigSkyGirl and everyone else for being there for me while I went through the death of my mother, June. It has been a little over two months since she passed and I have had a very difficult time coping. I cry every single day – reliving her final days in the hospital, questioning everything I did and didn’t do! Each day is a little better. I hold on to the fact that she didn’t die of this dreaded Alzheimer’s Disease and died peacefully of pneumonia. She wasn’t on Hospice when she got pneumonia and they wanted to move her to the Hospice center at another hospital. We loved her brand new large PCU room with a huge picture window where she could see the blue sky and trees! So we didn’t want her moved. The doctor wanted to keep her on IV antibiotics for two more days before releasing her to the Nursing Home. But then, these Angels called: The Palative Care Team came to help me. They consisted of a Nurse (Amazing woman named Ebbe!), a Chaplain and a Social Worker. Ebbe asked me questions about what Mom’s wishes were. Then she suggested what she would do if this was her mother. She suggested taking her off all IV’s, etc. and making her comfortable with morphine. In essence, letting her go peacefully and not trying to prolong her suffering. Her eyes were closed – she was on morphine and taken off all her IV’s and oxygen mask that she fought. At several times during her last day, while everyone was in the room visiting her, there were tears in her closed eyes. I think she knew she was leaving us. She got to speak to all of her children and her last words to me that she struggled to breathe were: “I love you”! We plan to spread her ashes in the ocean, per my mother’s request, and waiting for a time that we can all do this again together in the spring. (Be sure to read my posting on "A SIGN FROM MY MOTHER JUNE)

What has happened recently is that my husband got laid off!! This came as a huge shock to us because, as Regional VP of Sales with an automotive technology organization, his region was doing over 100% of quota. But his company decided to eliminate his entire division. So, I have decided it is time that I get back into the work force as well. Bad timing. . I know. I hope to get back into a position as an Account Manager with a technological company as well . . possibly in the medical or other field. I used to work for ADP as an Account Manager and really did well there for many years. So if anyone knows of a company that is in need of a dedicated, hard working Account Manager in Florida or even Georgia (Atlanta) available for travel, please let me know! I’ll be glad to forward my resume!

Again, thank you ALL for your support and love during all that I went through with my sweet mother, June. God rest her soul! You helped in more ways than you can imagine. . by just "being there for me"! I hope that in the future, I can pay it forward to help others as well!

Connie

Well I don't have any job leads for you but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best. This economy is sure taking it's toll on a lot of us. The only good thing about that is that it is forcing us to rely on God more than ever before. We will get through this.

You are 100% absolutely right Lori! Prayers are what we ALL need. . .badly! Especially during this rough time. Please know that I am keeping you in my prayers as well, my friend!

Hey! I vote that whenever anyone of us wins the lottery. . .we take our friends on a cruise or a really great "girls only" vacation! We have the power ball here in Orlando now! Someone has to win, right?! lol!

Connie; I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husbands job? I am sure it was a shcok, and scary since he is the primary bread winner in your family. I have no doubt that your skills wil come in handy, if you are healthy enough, and ready to go back to work. Thus economic nosedive seems to be affecting everyone. For me, they are slicing & dicing my credit card limits, and some tripling my nterest rates. This is not good! I need a personal bail-out for sure!

I am involved with a group, to continue Barack's vision for change. We are starting committees, and I have decided what interests me, is creating new green jobs, in South West Montana! And I WANT one!

There have been a lot of lay-offs here too. Not as many as most states, but we have such a small poplulation, it is signifigant. Some famous Lumber Companies, and Mines, mostly. I sure would like to put those people back to work too!

Connie,
Sorry to hear about your husband's job. Right not I'm glad we're retired so we don't have to worry about if we are going to be laid off. At least I know for now that our pension will continue.

Crying for your mom is normal, so don't think you should be over your loss. There are times when I still get teary eyed over my mom and she's been gone ten years this month.

Wish I had some job ideas for you but Mich. is probably a little to far to commute if I could come up with something.

Connie,

You might check to see if there is a Workforce Solutions Program through a regional council of governments in your area. These are federal programs and assist with job placement, sort of like the old employment commissions a few years back. Other options, which you have probably already been thinking about: county or city government, such as an auditor's office; any state program or state agency; colleges, universities; junior colleges; school districts; hospital districts; billing companies in the medical field. Government, education and medical fields should be the most stable and all have benefits. Just some thoughts. Good luck, my friend.

And, Connie, you did right by your Mom. Sharing her last words to you brought tears and memories of my Mom's passing 17 months ago. I know the grieving and pain lessens with time, but it can also visit again at the least unexpected time and place. There are no rules or "right way" on this part of the journey. Just go with your feelings and you'll make it - in your own way and in your own time.

Love to you,

Joyce

Thank you Joyce and Joyce L. and SKY! Your words of advice are greatly appreciated. I'm working on updating my resume! And hope that someone will hire me - having faith that I am one of THE most dedicated employees - working all hours to get the job done! I'll keep you posted!

As for missing my Mom. . .I know that will never end. Even my husband got all teary-eyed when there was something on TV that reminded him of his father who died 26 years ago! They are always with us in our hearts and until we join them again, we will always miss them and the tears will come.

Thinking of you and hubby. Just keep keeping on. God never promised us a bed of roses without some thorns.

We are also jobless here, so I know how it can be.

Ohhh, Debra! I'm so sorry to hear that! I'll keep you in my prayers as well! I know that things happen for a reason. . .even though we may not understand! So, here's to "us" in hopes for a better and brighter future! We still DO have a lot to be thankful for.

Hugs,

Connie

Gee, I'm jobless too. I still think we should just start a commune and all be over-the-hill hippies.

I'm jobless, too. I took early retirement to take care of Mom and then started early Social Security as soon as I could a few months ago. Unfortunately, receiving "the big bucks (LOL)" this early pretty much cut it all in half. One thing I learned early on about caregiving, no one (including family members) ever seems to realize the before, during and after economic costs of caregiving. BUT, I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Besides, I kind of like Lori's idea of the commune. By the way, Lori, when you refer to OTH hippies, is there some hidden message about that being "one toke over the line..."

Joyce

Boy Joyce! Does that song bring back memories! Now you're REALLY dating ourselves! lol!

Lori - I kind of like the idea of a commune too! Did you know that I marched in a Peaceful Protest March against the Vietnam War? Yeh. . .those were the days, my friend. . .We thought they'd never end. . .! We sing and dance. . .forever and a day. . .We live the life we chose . . .we thought we'd never lose. . those were the days. . Oh yes! Those were the days! Na na na-na. . .Na na na-na. . .heh, . .heh, heh. . .good-bye! Karaoke anyone?? lol!

OK. . .so much for my singing! lol! Gosh. . I miss those days!



Connie

I don't know about this OTH hippie stuff but I'd like to toss my bra into a fire 'bout now.

OH, OH Connie. I'm afraid I didn't march in any protests. I was busy serving in the military.

Your singing is lovely though. LOL.

You're right, Connie. "Those were the days..."

I, too, participated in peaceful protest marches against the war while my future hubby was over in Nam. He returned, highly decorated war hero, we married, grew in even more different directions, but stayed very close after splitting. He actually remained a significant part of my life until he died about 10 years ago from what I will always believe was from the constant exposure to Agent Orange.

Between the rock concerts and the women's movement and the civil rights movement and school and work and long nights of debating everything in the universe, including the reproductive cycles of gnats, we stayed fairly busy. And you know, Connie, I never really thought about those times in this respect, but in looking back through the haze, seems to me we were a bunch of pretty intense people who deeply cared about so many issues and such strong beliefs that we could make a difference. Perhaps that was the beginning of our outward expression of care giving. Oh, heck, maybe it was just that sense of youthful freedom we thought we found in "those summer days" and "conscious-raising" activities!"

A few weeks ago I bought the Time/Life Flower Power CD package advertised on TV. Needless to say, I've been tripping down memory lane...

Peace and love,

Joyce