We knew for a couple of years that my FIL was slipping as far as memory goes. We also knew that his driving days were going to end soon, as he would end up lost at least once a week.

When it came time for FIL to have his knee surgery, it was decided that we would move in with him after his rehab was over and care for him. Boy, was I in for a shock! He would forget to take his meds, he would insist that we were only there to help him get back on his feet and then we'd be gone. The worst part going to work and him calling me to ask how to get home from such and such place or if he was supposed to take his pills now or later.

His family doctor was no help whatsoever. Every time FIL fell--which was often--we'd end up in dr's office and FIL would complain that he didn't know why he was falling. Half the time, he'd not even recall why we were at the dr's in the first place.

We'd argue about EVERYTHING... to the point where I had a nervous breakdown. That's what it took for DH to understand just how stressful it was dealing with FIL...who couldn't even recall the arguments we had!

From what little I did know about dementia, I thought it was ALZ, and I wanted a diagnosis from FIL's doctor. But he was reluctant to say anything more than it was just old age and to expect this sort of thing.

A mutual friend of FIL and me finally talked to her family doctor and he agreed to take FIL as a new patient. Bang! Bang! Bang! Things started falling into place... Neurologist appts, CT and MRI scans donephysical therapy, whatever it took to figure out what was going on. After nearly a year of searching, we finally got a diagnosis: Alzheimers, approximately Stage 4.

Between counseling sessions for me and LOTS of reading up on ALZ, I've finally have come to accept FIL's thought process and actions and do not hold it against him (except of course, when I've been sleep deprived 3 days straight--but that's another story in itself).

So much of a load of being told by 'professionals' that I didn't know what I was talking about has now turned around, and the doctors now listen to what my concerns are about FIL AND they listen to him, too. They treat us both as people and not things or damaged goods!

Wow, Debra, what a wringer you and your loved ones
have been through! I'm so glad to see you here
sharing your experience. What a comfort to others.
It's so much easier to know we are not insane when
we know we are absolutely not alone!
Have a lovely weekend!
Carol

Mercy Debra, that must have been a very frustrating time for you! Glad to know that you got to a good doc, found out what you needed to know. My MIL was diagnosed with dementia almost 4 years ago, not type specified either. She refuses to go for further testing (nothing is wrong with her you know!), and the durable power of attorney isn't getting her to a neurologist, geriatric specialist, no MRI, no PET scan...nothing. He says she is just FINE! lol Whatever. So your FIL is stage 4 the thinking is? Is he still driving? Did the doc put him on Namenda or Aricept or any other meds? So glad to see you here on this forum, blessings to you.

No. We were able to prove that FIL wasn't a safe driver. He passed the written and oral tests, but failed the driving test. He's now entirely dependent on me and DH or any other trusted friend who is willing to take him out for rides or for a meal.

He's been on 10 mg. Aricept for just over a year. He has no problems speaking. Beginning to show signs of the aphasia as he's choking on drinks at least once a day now. Since this last hospital stay, 3 weeks ago, they put him on Resperdol (sp?) to help get him settled down for the night. I don't think it's working, as the nurses say that he's still quite restless until about 3 a.m. then sleeps until they bring in breakfast (9 a.m.).

During the day he's still quite normal... slipping in and out of knowing where he actually is, but can carry on intelligent conversations if someone is there to talk with. He's become much worse after 5 p.m. His delusions and hallucinations become worse and he becomes argumentative. That's when he's most likely not to recognize me, DH or his other son.

Well, we are planning to go visit him shortly. I'll give a run down of how that went when I get back home.

Does anyone know if perhaps the increasing problems with delusions after 5 pm in Debras situation could be related to sundowning? I am glad you have stopped the driving though. My MIL continues to drive, and that is a concern for me. Thanks so much for answering the questions, and yes please keep us up to date. Oh, I forgot to ask why do you think the doc gave risperdol? My daughter has taken it in the past for aggression issues relating to bipolar disorder. I believe it's actually an anti-psychotic med? Don't quote me on that, but I think that is right. Perhaps to calm anxiety? Blessings.

It sounds like classic sundowning to me. I'm no expert but I have read a bit on the subject because of my mom. She was also prescribed a low dose of Risperadol (initially .25 mg recently increased to .5 mg). It helps for awhile and then seems as if it needs increased again, but she is so unsteady on her feet that I hesitate to do that.

Deb, have you tried any of the behavior modification techniques - minimizing glare, quiet environment, etc. during the evening?

It is sundowning that we are experiencing. He would do it once in a while here at home, but since the hospital stay and now at the NH, he's even worse.

We knew that he would cat nap after dinner, usually falling asleep while reading his Bible. He was still able to get himself up from his chairs and take himself to the bathroom using his walker.

Sometimes, he would ask us if we'd gotten orders from the Captain or what the plan for the factory was to be for the next day, but would correct himself once he said it, as if he realized it was a dream.

But now, there is no dream phase and he gets quite upset that we aren't there to have some activity for him to join in on. He doesn't remember us during this period, thinking I'm either his secretary or the social director at the adult day care place. Sometimes he confuses me with the aides on duty.

Since he fought with the nurses and aides on duty at the hospital, we requested that one of the geriatric psych doctors access him. It was decided to try him on the Reperdol (sp?) to see if it would calm him down. Seems to be working, but since we are not there after dinner, I cannot say how well it is working.

We are still awaiting the meeting discussing his progress and whether or not he will remain in a NH or sent home for the time being.

[font=Comic Sans MS]Deb
FT had the cat napping problem and would wake up confused. He also started sundowning after his last hospital stay. His Neuro did and EEG (Brain Wave test) and discovered that he was having mild seizuers. He now takes something for them and is more awake and allert. She said even though the seizures would only last 20-30 seconds they were wearing him out so he was sleeping all day. We would see the blank stare once in awhile but because they were so short we did not know he was having them one after the other. You might want to check with the neuro about Seizures. We were told that they are very common in AD patients.[/font]

Hi Deb,
Did you bring ON home yet? How is he doing?

Bill has his worse time between 4 and 7pm. Since the time change he is quite as bad for as long a period. Many times he will fall asleep at 5pm and I have to wake him to eat dinner. Immediately after eating he will go to bed for the night. He still sleeps all night so that is a blessing.

Since his wandering episode, I have added extra locks on the doors. When I ask him were he was going one evening he said "those guys were out there". I told him if they were out then he didn't want to go out. He agreed with me and took his coat off.

I've been playing phone tag with the doctors since we got back home and still haven't talked to them. He has an appmt. with the GP tuesday. I'm curious what he is going to say. I know he will check his blood and urine but that is about all he ever does. He always asks me what meds he's on and writes out prescriptions for them. I could almost make up my own dosage and he would take my word for it. Guess that's part of going to the same doctor for 35 years.

I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. I'll try to get over to visit your mother and Edna after the holiday, when the kids are all gone.

Give me a call.