Has anyone here lost a spouse besides me? If so, I would sure like to talk to you and see how you're doing and how you made it through. I thought things would get easier as time passed but it seems like it's worse some days than it was when it first happened.

Don't get all worried about me. I would just like to talk to those who lost their spouse and know what I feel isn't uncommon.

Joyce,

As you know, I lost my mom, not my spouse (although I can't tell you how many times I'd like to leave him somewhere and let him find his way home............... )

I do know that the grieving process is different for all of us and there is no such thing as "normal."

I also know that when my mom first died I felt such overwhelming relief that her battle was over, I was completely at peace with myself and with/for her. I had moments when I cried until I ran out of tears. But more than anything, I was really both surprised and pleased that I was "handling" her death so well. And then the loss and emptiness set in. Mom no longer needed me and my days were full of ................................nothing. I had no purpose, no direction. Nothing. (And for any of you reading this who don't know me, I have a husband, a dog, 2 adult children and 4 grandchildren.) But I still felt like I had no one and nothing.

So, dear Joyce, I can only imagine how much more lonely and alone you are feeling. I'm not worried about you, but I do care about you and am so sorry you feel even the least bit unusual in your journey through grief. You have my number and I welcome your call at any time.

Have you tried talking to Lori about any of this? I don't mean to imply she lost a spouse, but her relationship with Helen -- the closeness they shared as friends, not relatives -- may much more closely parallel the dynamics of a marriage than what I experienced with my mom.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend.

Thanks Karen.
I think I am the only one here who went through this with a spouse, but I'm hanging in just like I did for the last 11-12 years.
I still find comfort by coming back here. Back isn't the right word because I never left. It's still like talking to friends.

Hi Joyce,
I don't remember if you are going back north, after Chicago, but my Mom asked me to give you her #, and she would love to meet you! I will PM it to you. She did not lose my Daddy to AD-but to kidney disease- but it may help, when you are "up there".

Maebee,
I'll be going back to Luzerne after my SIL's surgery and I will try to remember to give you mother a call and set up a lunch date.