Friends,
I have some information that I would like to pass on to you. I'm going to try to not write a book here, but it may be hard as I want to try to explain it the best way I can. Keep in mind that these things are in the works, and not a for sure thing, but very encouraging.

First thing: Some time ago, the Aid and Attendance Veterans Benefit was mentioned to us by someone. At the time I was too busy to investigate it, but I passed on the information to my son in laws father for his mother. He went directly to the VA office in Chicago, filled out a few papers with the help of them, brought with discharge papers, birth certificate etc., and within 6 months got the benefit for his mother who had to have caregivers. She was able to get $1,000/month for caregiveing. She will also get retroactive pay from the date of the application.

Around that time is when I had an agency helping out with Mom when she returned home from the hospital back in july. The agency actually mentioned the Veterans benefit to me and I said I had heard about it. But again, at the time didn't have the time or energy to pursue it, and I really thought at the time Mom wasn't going to make it, so I fluffed it off. When I finally realized that she was going to make it, and $1000/mo would really come in handy, the agency put me in touch with a financial place that would help me through the process for free. Yes I was leary about it, but as they explained to me, they hoped one day I might use them for any financial advice and investments I may make. And one of the owners himself was a vet, and very active in getting any benefits possible for caring for a vet.

I filled out some general forms with him around Oct., and he did the rest for me. He said it should not take 6 months, but of course no promises. He said others he has help have heard from them in as little as 3-4 months. So I'm hopeful it will come through. I have the website, but right not I have more to tell you, so if you could just google Aid and Attendance Veterans Benefits, you should be able to get info.

My suggestion would be to go to your nearest VA office and get those forms filled out. It seems the big stipulation of course is that one parent or spouse has had to serve during a wartime, not in the war itself, but while a war was going on. They have a list of the wars.

Second thing: I was looking up something one day, and came across something called the Older Americans Act. There was so much information on it that of course I was very confused. Anyhow, one thing led to another and I came across some info that I could email someone, which I did. She emailed me back and asked me what county I lived in, and told me to get in touch with my counties Senior Service Center, which I did. Well, there is help out there believe it or not, and it seems its free or at a very low cost.

They sent me a very short form to mail back to them, and said a caseworker would be contacting me to talk to me. The info they sent said I need to have an Mom's state ID, a birth certificate, bank statements, and basically what her income is when the caseworker visits.

The lady that I talked to about this also said that if Mom gets approval that I can get as much as 5 days a week/ 4hrs a day of help for free or as little as $25/mo.

But today the hospice Social Worker paid me a visit, and I showed her all the info. She called them and asked more questions. This is how it basically works if you get approved. THey gave her a list of four agencies that they deal with. You call up these agencies, which I had my day girl Colleen do. You tell them you want to be a "preferred worker" for someone your already caring for. They hire them after going to classes for three days, and then they pay them $9.25/hr to work for me which the county reimburses them for. The only thing not clarified was how many hours they will pay. The social worker from hospice seems to think that they will pay for them all, but I don't know if thats correct or not, and of course she's not sure either. AS soon as I find out more details, I will pass it on. But please, in the meantime get ahold of your counties Senior Services and get any info you can.

Another item on the info they sent me was called the Eldercare Locator. The number is 1-800-677-1116. CAll that number, follow the prompts, and they will put you in touch of the nearest Senior Services in your area.

Another thing I found while fooling around on this computer was something called Benefits Checkup. All this is what led me to know that there is help out there. I will quote the first paragraph. "this state program assists individuals, 60 or older to remain in their homes to prevent institutionalzation. Services include case management, homemake, adult day care, and senior companion in some areas."

I know I probably didn't explain all this the right way, and maybe not even in the right order. But please, just try to do the following. 1) Go or call your VA office and fill out the form for the Aid and Attendance Veterans Benefit. Do that ASAP as that will take the longest. You can print out the forms online and fill them out, but there's so many and its so confusing.

2) Call the above 800 Eldercare Locator number to be put in touch with the senior services in your county.

3) If your loved one is on hospice, ask your social worker for help with these services. Mine was great and will come here when the case worker comes to interview me to help me out.

You know, I have help that I can afford for now as I'm using Mom's money that she signed over to us siblings many years ago. Many of you don't have that advantage, and I don't know how you all do it. You are so strong, and I so much admire you for doing what you do with not alot of help. I feel so guilty many times even saying that I have women that help me out. But the money is going down, and I know I can never care for Mom without that help, and it scares the hell out of me to know the only help will be to put her in a nursing home and then she will have everything paid for, but probably not survive very long. I just can't do it. She's just getting to frail.

So please, for your loved one, your families, and especially for the health, mental and physical for yourselves, investigate as much as you have the time for. Our only choice should not have to be sacrificing our own health, or putting them somewhere that we don't want them to be.

Gosh, I'm so sorry I've went on and on, but I sure wanted to try to explain as well as I could. And Sky, with your Mom in a different state then you, you can call that Eldercare Locator and dial in their zip code and talk to them yourself.

I sure hope that this all pans out, as I may be very embarrassed to get on such a high with this and then nothing comes out of it. But if it helps even one of you, I'll be happy.

love to you all,
Jackie

Wow, what great information! Thank you for doing so much leg work. We need all the help we can get because this is all so devastating enough without having the financial burdens added to it. Thank you for sharing all this, Jackie.

Hope you and Mom are doing okay. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Tom "IS" a Veteran! I will check into this, and then try to lead that Horse to water!

Wow! I wish I had known all of this info when my FIL was alive. I am passing this info on to my employer so that they have more info to give out to potential new clients, etc.

Thanks Jackie for all the time and care it took to write that out, very valuable info. We checked into that quite a while back and Dad makes too much money so he doesn't qualify, bummer.

I did find out that any veteran and his wife can be buried for free in a National Cemetery though. Have to have enlistment papers to show. I think you only had to serve 3 weeks or something like that. We went to one in our nearby cemetery and it was a nice service. Good to know.

Take care,

~Kelly~