VG,

I am hoping you will consider seeing a cardiologist. I don't like the signs and symptoms you are displaying.

Seriously, take care of yourself, get yourself healthy and go from there. Your health is too important and I am concerned.

Can you give us a proximety where you live? maybe we can research programs and make calls to get you some help from people who donate thier time in helping those in your situation. In IL we have Hearts and Hammers where volunteers come in and do basic home repair for the disabled or elderly. There has to be something that we can do from here. We just need details. Do you have anyone's email where you can disclose info and allow it to be passed on discretly so we can network and see what is available to you?

Please take care and know we got your back.

Snick, you are very smart!
ValGal, I tried the "pm" feature on the board to see if
it would work sending you an email without posting
addressess on a public forum. If it does work, give it
a try in contacting trusted individuals, and maybe we
can get something going like Snickers suggests.
If you don't get a reply from someone, though, don't
assume it's cuz they don't like you ; it's probably
a glitch--you know these computers are amazing, but
they can really mess you up, too.
Give it a try!
Carol

Couple random thoughts:

First, VG, I agree that you need to get those symptoms checked out as soon as you can! It's impossible to know without seeing a doctor, but I was wondering if perhaps the symptoms you're experiencing are related to anxiety? Like taking care of the clutter is so overwhelming right now, that just starting the project is enough to set off a panic attack?

Second, I like jackieyo's advice, "one room at a time, one piece at a time" very much. I have a young relative who loves to organize anything and everything. I made arrangements to have her come over to help me clear out and reorganize a spare room that had filled with clutter. After a few hours, we had several bags for the trash and a carload of stuff to go to charity. When we got to a point where the remaining stuff would fit into the closet, we had lunch and called it a day. We'll tackle the closet another day.

A suggestion on the topic of "one piece at a time" - As I'm walking through a room, I pick ONE thing that's out of place, and put it where it belongs. Some days, more things get put away than end up out of place again, and some days, not so much. But I'm making progress and that's what matters.

For example, everyone in my house hates putting laundry away. It gets folded and stacked on the dining room table, and there it sits. So whenever I pass the table, I pick up one pile and put it away on my way to wherever I'm going. If I'm headed down the hall, I take a stack of towels with me and drop them off in the linen closet, and so on. Sooner or later, all the laundry is put away and the table's cleared off again.

Good luck! We're here to support you!

Yes, I am definitely not wanting to go to the doctor. I am one of those people that doesn't want the "news".

To be honest, I already know that I am a prime candidate for a heart attack or stroke. I have family history on both sides of heart trouble, I have high blood pressure and cholesterol, I am now terribly overweight as I have gained a lot, and I live in high stress.

Besides that, the last time I saw a doctor (quite some time ago), she told me that I was right on the edge of becoming diabetic. I may have crossed that line now.

I have only had one mammogram in my whole life, over twenty years ago.

My Mom just recently had surgery for colon cancer and I have never had a colonoscopy. And my youngest sister died of cancer.

I just don't want to know the bad stuff, I guess. I guess that I just want to "go". I don't know. I am just so confused about everything.

God, I don't even know who I am.

I'm going to give you advice that everyone on this forum gave me when I put off getting my thyroid medicine....if I don't take care of me, who's going to take care of my mom?

I really would like to see you make an appointment with your doctor, like everyone else is saying, these things need to be checked out. Don't worry about a mammogram today or a colonoscopy. Like Jackie said, do one piece at a time. The medical stuff can be done that way too.

We see enough doctors with our LOs, so I know it's like "ugh! all these doctors!" but how about tomorrow calling for an appointment? That's 1 piece. Getting there and telling the doctor what's going on is another piece...and so on. I have to do that too, so you're not alone.

Yes VAl Gal. What howdy said is good advice. One medical piece also at a time.
Screw the house! First you, second the house.

You know I'm stubborn also about going to the doc. Hate bad news. But the more I thought about it, the more I had to. If for nothing else, that I don't want anyone taking care of my mom but me.

Now look little Valentine Sweetheart, you need to give us more. Tell us what state you live in. Who knows, maybe one of our friends on the forum lives close by. God I wish one of them did to me. You need to help us help you. We won't let you do this alone. Please, Please reach out to one of us personally. We are your friends, and I think you know that. Not nosey neighbors, not your family, not anyone that doesn't understand some of your situation.

You can vent with us, cry with us, you can tell us anything. No judgement, no critisizing. But you need to let us help you.

You may not know who you are, but we do. Your an exhausted, loving wife, mother and grandmother. You've had the worse thing that a wife could ever have in their life, a husband with AD. But we know Val, we know you can get through this.

You need at least to go have a good physical first. Don't worry for now about colonoscopies, or mamograms. Just a good physical for blood pressure, cholestrol etc. Blood work, that's all it is.

One piece at a time Val, one piece. Come on. Tell us you started with the one piece. Call the doctor.

Now keep in touch with us. Do the one piece, and then we'll get through the second, all of us together.

Love,
Jackie

Val,
I am like you about not wanting the news. I avoided my annual checkups for 8 years. When I had a bit of a scare last month the Dr. who normally schedules a year ahead (gyno) had me come in the next day. I was SURE I had waited so long that I was in big trouble. I had a clean bill of health and now I can exhale. It really is better to start with a baby step and make an appointment for a basic checkup (blood work, etc.) If you are diabetic that should be dealt with. That is something you can do without anything invasive (beyond the blood work).
You know from my private e-mail to you that I have some clue about the way your depression is making you feel. The thing is the only way to climb out of the darkness if baby steps. Do one good thing for yourself this week. One more next week, etc. Forget the house clutter. Houses won't get sick but our Val gal might.

One good thing for YOU today please dear VG, make a few moments for this PLEASE

To give you a little smile as you start your day, here are 3 little Valentine Girls for you to give a cuddle today.

OK......You guys are starting to get through. I might be able to try to go to the doctor.

I have been feeling overwhelmed with it all because besides what I told you already, I have just started bleeding again lately. I also need glasses. I use the kind from the drug store. One of my hearing aids is on the fritz too. And I reeeeeeally need to go to the dentist for a lot of work.

Let's face it. I am just a mess! I have just been feeling like a lost cause, health wise.

You are all correct about one step at a time. I do like my regular doctor. She is really nice.

I know this sounds really weird, but I feel embarassed to go to her. I feel like a whiner. Like, there are so many things wrong that I feel like she is going to think I am a hypocondriac.

Anyway, I am thinking about what you are saying.

I did manage to straighten things up this weekend. I did a little bit at a time throughout the whole weekend. There is a lot more to do but it is good enough for now. The cleaning girl is coming tomorrow-Monday. Hopefully, after she leaves, things will look better and I will feel a little better.

I DO wish that I could find some teenagers to help with other things. There are none in this neighborhood. In fact there are hardly any kids at all on my block. I tried calling the high schools before. They won't give me any names of kids needing a job. It is unbelieveable. They went into a big ordeal about laws and workmen's comp problems, etc. Geez! I couldn't believe it!

Isn't that stupid? Here I am, wanting to give a few kids a job and there are probably lots of them that need one. But I was hoping to get a recommendation. I don't want to hire kids that want to rip me off or something. I had hoped the schools could refer me to some "good" kids.

Anyway....talk to you later. Thank you all for triying to give me a push.

Dear ValGal,
I'm glad things are looking up a bit.
YES, I'm happy you will be taking your first baby steps
regarding your health. Please keep us posted so your
loving nags can help inch you along.
Then, waaaayyyy later, when you're up to it, an idea
for projects in the house and the yard--have you
tried local churches? Most have youth groups.
Most of them, if they are worth anything, are open to helping
out in the community. If you can get in touch with the youth
group leader, ask if they would be open to helping you out
one day. Make a priority list that a few kids coming in could
look at and just tackle. Whoa, talk about energy harnessed!
Then, the next week, have another church group over!
We'll all pitch in and send you the donut fund!
OK, now slap me upside the head, I'm getting carried away.
Carol

That basket of puppies started my day with a smile. When I was feeling like that Val I told myself that I had to stay in my little safe place and as the stress piled up my safe place became smaller and smaller. Eventually it was my house. I didn't want to leave it. Going to a Dr. was like asking me to run through the streets of a big city shouting "Anybody need a target?" The ironic thing is the longer we stay in our "safe" place and ignore our health the more unsafe we are.
I'm so hopeful that you are going to take that first step. Look at all the sisters you have here (and little brother Aitan and big brother Flinty) who are all giving you a cyber her and an "atta girl!"

[font=Comic Sans MS] [/font] Oh Val Gal, I am so happy for you that you got enough cleaning done that you are now comfortable having the cleaning girl come in

I knew you could do it!!!!!

Stay with us VG, one step at a time, we're here to cheer you on, and hold you up if you falter.

Well, the house is cleaner.

It always smells so good after she comes.

She uses a cleaner that is not sold in the markets. It really smells good.

It is a small step up the big mountain but I am glad I had her come out.

Val Gal,
I'm glad you like your doctor. She won't think your a whiner, believe me. Don't forget, it is their job, and their bread and butter, so I'm sure she wants you to whine as long and as often you feel the need to.

Before you go see her, make a list of everything on a sheet of paper. (That's what I do, and my doctor loves it. Says he wishes everyone would do that, so as not to forget anything important.) Read the list to him one thing at a time, or just hand it to him. Anything you don't understand, have her, or you, write it down before you leave the office.

Step one: Make that appointment
Step two: Write everything, and I mean everything down on paper. (Not just the physical things)
Step three: Write us back and let us know you've done steps one and two. Now get going!!!!

Love,
Jackie