I received this in an email and I had to laugh, expecially at the "dead gull".
I hope you laugh as much as I did.

KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reece :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, i f you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'


~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
And I wanted to stay with you guys.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
As we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
Were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~


A father was at the beach with his children
When the four-year-old son ran up to him,
Grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
Where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say ,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ pe they make you laugh.

oh Joyce, these are priceless! Out of the mouths of babes:)

I loved:
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !' (reminded me of my brother and I when we were younger and maybe even now!)


and:
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say ,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?' (I say this every time I invite my inlaws to dinner!)

Joyce,

These were great. You are right about the sea gulls. I am also very glad that you are finding ways to laugh. Have a great day.

Oh Joyce, those were hysterical!!! I haven't laughed like that in a very long time. Thanks!

Jackie

I vote for the one about the christening.

I just found these! Too funny!

I like the one about the "Gull" too! We are sick girls!!!

Oh, these are great! How cute!

Glad you found a way to smile yesterday, Joyce. You put one on my face today. Thanks for sharing this.

I'd forgotten about these. I still like the one about the gull.

I wasn't smiling yesterday sames u, but these helped when I read them this morning.

Thanks from finding them Crella, I needed them.

I got this one:

(Here's the reply the teacher received from the mother))



Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Oh, Joyce, I'm sorry.

(I didn't realize this was an older post.)

OMG Maebee, that's too funny!

Old or new doesn't matter sames u. A laugh is good anytime.

If we go back into the older posts, we would probably find a lot of good ideas.

Maebee, your story reminded me of how things can be relayed the wrong way
.
I told my granddaughter about having a bear in the front yard and he was tearing up my bird feeders so I clapped my hands real loud and he ran away. Relayed message to her mom: "A bear was tearing up grandma's bird feeders so she slapped him and he ran away" I may think I'm brave, but there was no way you could have gotten me off that upstairs balconey.



.

Hey Joyce,
My Daddy always told me barking like a dog helps scare bears away, too.

I can just see it now! Woof Woof!

I'd still want to be on the balcony