http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/03/2 ... -floaties/

I love that pic lol.

Sorry I haven't posted more, things have went downhill here at a good clip the last couple of months.

MIL I think has declined even more. Her "cycles" used to be from about one week but she's been active in a cycle for 3 weeks at a time now. Her memory is worse and she's even more obstinante that ever before..which should be humanly impossible lol.

Hubby is still trying to reason with her God love him, I don't think he knows it's pointless now. For instance, MIL's sugar went rancid. HOW can sugar go rancid? It smelled really bad. Hubby wanted to reason with her to change it and wash the container, but she wouldn't have it. In the middle of the night I changed out the sugar and washed the container and she hasn't even noticed.

We ran out of dish cleaner so instead of getting some new she brings out the stuff she cleans the toilet with! AHHHHH! Ew!

I need a vacation and about 2000 bags of cheesey poofs lol. I try not to come here and rant because you all have so much to deal with but you all are really the only ones who understand.

The icing on the cake is that my cat has disappeared before Easter from my folk's house . I'm keeping up hope he's alive and well but as time goes on... . I didn't get to say goodbye to my fuzzball and I'm here taking care of a woman who despises me in all ways.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Kat

You sound just as frustrated as I was while caring for my FIL. I was in your shoes for over 3 years. Care giving can be so consuming both physically and emotionally.

Before I knew it was the ALZ causing him to be so ornery (he never did like the fact that we became the parents and he, the child), I could have sworn he was just needing to be right no matter how wrong or demented he was! Sure wish your spouse would read the books on how to divert her attention and then get it taken care of when she's not there to argue.

Yes, sugar can go 'rancid' if the container hasn't been kept clean or if it's around other foodstuffs that are strong in smell.

Have you any hair left to pull out?

Anything I can help you with? My shoulders are here for a good cry and my arms are ready to give you cyber {{{hugs}}}, and I'm on my knees to pray for you and family.

I sure do hope your kitty finds it's way back.

Oh, please tell hubby that once he stops trying to reason with her, his life will become a lot less frustrating.

It is so hard watching them go downhill. I remember praying for those plateaus where nothing changed. Unfortunately as this disease progresses, the plateaus become fewer and last for much shorter periods of time.

Never hold back from venting here. That's what we are here for.

Sorry that your kitty is missing. Cats do seem to do rather well on their own though so there is still hope she will make it home or claim a new one.

I'm sorry about that, about both things. Cats are good hunters, and hardy, I wish with all my heart that he'll be home soon.

It is hard to care for someone who dislikes you. Caregiving is so draining and to have the person resent you is tough.

Thanks everyone for the replies! It was good to rant, I'm feeling better.

@ MundeeB

I'm feeling better, I just needed some days to destress. It's funny how some days one little thing bugs you the whole day and then a ton of stuff can happen one day and you're fine. Life is strange lol.

Thanks for letting me know about the sugar, I think the Tupperware hadn't been washed in years. I took care of it and it's better now. I have to keep an eye on more things in the kitchen now. It's scary how many people might of ate that sugar, argh :S. Hubby is just now admitting how bad she is so he's been reading here and there. He is really good at dealing with her, he knows what to say to change what she's focused on..with me she's just AhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .

Thanks!

@Lori1955

I agree, the reasoning doesn't work anymore. I think it's more for him than for her nowadays. It's funny she can still be so logical about some things but other things...you get an answer from outer space sometimes.

Thanks! I hope he does come home too or that he's being taken care of. I miss him alot as do my folks.

@crella

Thanks! I do hope he's okay too. He's getting on in his years (12 years old this June) so we're kinda hoping that it wasn't his time and all. He's a cute fuzzball.

That's true, it is hard. I love MIL and I know she loves me but with all the family history between us and all, it's just a tough deal for all.

Thanks again for all your posts!

Kat

Kat,

Please don't ever think you shouldn't come on here and rant, who else can you rant to and know you are understood, besides, it makes me feel better when others do and then I know I can when I need to!!

My mom hated me all the time too when she was home. I was just talking to my daughter about that today, saying that when you tell others about it, it just doesn't sound so bad, but when you are looking into this person's eyes whom you love and they are accusing you of stealing their underwear, lint rollers, clothing, jewelry, dishes, dish towels, shoes.......it is very hard to take day after day. I think it is so hard because it is all so very bizarre and nothing makes sense. The other day I went to my mom's home to take her to lunch and to get her hair done, well, it was her birthday and you would of thought it would of made her happy, but she was so mad at me the whole time, even stuck her tongue out at me in the car on the way!!!! I didn't do anything bad, I just asked her to get ready and took her. ~Sigh~ It ended pretty well though thankfully, but she used to be mad at me all the time, and that was hard.

Hang in there, you sound like you have a great sense of humor, which is a life saver when dealing with AD! Keep coming on and sharing, it's good for you and us too.

~Kelly~

The eyes comment got to me Kelly. I remember and can still see the mean look in Bill's eyes when he got mad. It was like the devil looking back at me. Before he was unable to get around, it would scare me it was so mean looking.

Yep, it was just downright scary Joyce, so sad.

Joyce-you know even after two going on three years I can still see mom when she would glare at me and yell-Who the H are you-trying to tell her I was her daughter got me nowhere-she would then say-NO YOU AREN'T then would say I don't have a daughter. I can't tell you how many times my heart would break.

But now I would give anything to have her back even yelling at me-I miss her and dad so much. I never tell my hubby or daughter because they still don't understand why I still have crying spells. I guess according to them I should be okay and getting "on with my life".

Pat

Pat it's only been three months, but I'd love to have Bill look at me again and tell him I'm his wife and that we are married. He would either insist he wasn't married or he would ask "We are"? and give me one of his grins. I don't know if the mean look or the vacant lost look that bothered me the most

As much as I miss him, I know he is now whole and I don't want him to have to live the was he was.

Kat,
How are things going for you today? I keep saying that with the sunshine and warm weather things will start getting better. I hope that's true for you, too.
Has the "baby" come home?

Oh Kat, I had to laugh when you said your husband was trying to reason with his mom. Till this day, I try to do the same with mine. You think that after almost three years of her living here, I would know better. But I think you're right that we do if for ourselves rather than them. My husband always asks me why I do that. Now I may have an answer for him.

And I understand exactly what you mean about her being so logical about some things and then other things are completely weird. I keep telling my husband that she doesn't have AD and that she's just trying to get back at me for all the years I was a horrible teenager and she just wants to be pampered!! How's that for denial??

I never really realized that a person could get any more obstinate than they already are, but right now my Mom is getting the blue ribbon for it. If I tell her to take her pills, I get a look that could scare the devil. If its not her idea, then forget about her cooperating. I cannot TELL her anything. She keeps telling me I'm not her child and she'll do what she wants when she wants to do it, and that includes taking her meds.

You know sometimes you just don't have the time to think of how to approach them with certain things, so you say "here, take your pills now". Lately it seems before I approach Mom with anything, no matter if its eating, dressing, whatever, I have to think for a few minutes how I'm going to say it to her in order not to have a confrontation. And as patient as I try to be, at least once a day I blow up with something and just loose it cause I just get tired of having to think.

So Kat, please come here and keep venting, cause you sure made me feel good. Although I wish this on no one, I sure am glad I have everyone here to understand these things. AS they say, Misery loves Company!!

Jackie

Oh and Kat, I sure hope your cat comes home soon. I don't have pets, and don't know much about them, but I wonder if maybe you should put a favorite toy of his outside your door. I hear animals have good smelling instincts. Who knows?

Thanks everyone for the replies, sorry I haven't written sooner.

I'm doing okay and feeling better. MIL is better too, I think maybe she was super ancy since she was going to some parties and it made her all giddy?

She spent 2 hours sweeping one room, the sealent on the tiles must be gone by now lol! She did wear herself out though so that was good.

My cat still hasn't come home yet . It's been almost two months so I've come to accept that he's most likely in heaven by now. I'm sad but I know he's in a better place.

Caregiving has made me a realist in some strange way I guess. My folks are still hoping he's alive but I can't give myself false hope. I think I lost false hope the first year of all this.

Thanks again for all the replies and all, I really appreciate it and thanks again for listening to my rants and all .

Kat

Yes, the daily brain gymnastics I hope that at least I'm getting some new synapses out of this It's surprising how tiring the mental tap-dancing can be isn't it? It's reminiscent of when my son was two or so, any out-an-out request was met with 'NO!'and we had to figure out ways to make the mornings smoother.

I hope that your kitty has simply found another home, they sometimes do that when lost, someone may have taken him in. I'm sorry he hasn't come home.

Kat,

We just lost a cat here too. We think he was hit by a car, but he was in a slow decline for a couple of weeks so at least I could say goodbye. I know just what it feels like, and it's very fresh in my mind.

On the bright side, I may have discovered one of the only positive things about dementia. The cat was all black, so I just swapped in a new black cat. My grandmother never noticed and didn't have to go through the grieving process. =-)

Sorry to hear about your cat too

I think my folks are coming to accept it too. He lead a good life and he was such a cute little troublemaker.

That is good your grandma didn't notice! Good idea on your part, I would of never thought about that!

Kat