Oh Maebee; I knew this would be no cake-walk for you, because of your SIL. I thought frankly she would have nothing, or hide it all from you, which was my experience. I didn't realize it was anyone's right to write the Obit, and I am so glad we did, and you will be happy, eventually, that you did too! We wrote one in the town where my Dad grew up, and then I thought I should post one in the area where he lived for 60 years, and where I grew up, so I did. At first I thought it would give his wife a heart-attack, and then...I DIDN'T care!

I know it is too late to try to grab any kind of power, or reins on the situation, but I hope you do attend something, which ever part is most important to you, and like Snick said, avoid the B***! Who needs it!

Well, she didn't say that but I "SAY" that! And that my Dad's wife had full control over his life...and then his death? (They were only married for TWO years, he was 84 when he died!) I guess you must be complete, when you are a schemer! (Spelling)

Oh, and once this is all over, send me her Obit. I bet you'd like to update her Quilt-Square, and guess what, you can say anything you damn-well-please!

HUMPH!

I have to say that I am surprised that SIL is going to the expense of all these services. I hope you can get through all of this without her drama.

I too offer my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Peace be with you.

I just needed to come in this morning to see how things went for Joyce and her Family, and to get a dose of my forum Family before I get ready to go. SIL actually called yesterday and had a somewhat civil conversation with Hubby. She is still insistent on all of the services, so we will just go with the flow, and attend what we feel we need. Mom is gone, and this that is left, is for the living. Mom is in a much better place, I KNOW. She is whole and happy.

p.s. Mom's place of residence is NOT listed as SIL's. I have snet an email asking about the listing of cause on the certificate, but she is probably on the road already, so I will leave it at that. I did express my thoughts as to the benefits to Alzheimer's research and awareness, for having Alz listed at least as a contiibutor.

I will carry you all with me today, as you are a big part of my strength.

Maebee,

We will be holding you in our thoughts and prayers as always but especially on this day.

Love to you and your family,

Joyce

Dear Maebee,

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your MIL, so sorry. I do hope all goes well today with all of the services, never heard of such a thing. You are wise and kind to be willing to go with the flow, it must be difficult to do that. I'm glad you have nice family members to remember your MIL with, sounds like she was a dear woman.

Take care,

~Kelly~

Just wondering how the day went.

Maebee,

I've been thinking of you and all the run around you've been through. I don't think I could have made it on that schedule.
Bill and I had pre paid our funeral and had it all planned so all we had to do was go in and confirm all the details. We had already chosen the casket and had the cemetery taken care of already.
We had viewing on Mon from 2-9 with the funeral at the church on Tue.at 9:30. There was a short prayer service and I was presented with the flag. Then back to the luncheon at 1. That was enough for me.

Neve thought when we went to Frankenmuth that we would be going through this at the same time.

I've always believed that the person who wants to do the most for the funeral and cries the loudest is the one that did the least while our LO was alive.

I'll be thinking of you. I will be going to my sisters before too long. Send me your Telephone number and I wil call you so we can get together somewhere near you. Sister lives on Sashabaw near Maybee. Don't hold your breath though because I don't know what or when I'll be doing anything.

Maebee,
Thinking of you and how the day went. I don't expect you to be here today, as with all that running, you'll sure to be exhausted. Hoping that everything went well for you and hubby today, and were able to grieve without alot of crap going on.

My thoughts are with you. Know that your Mother in Law sure had a wonderful daughter in law that cared for her as you did, and is up above surely smiling down on you.

Take care, and will hear from you when you can take a breath. Please come back here as often as you can. We're still here for you, and we still could use your help from time to time when you can.

Jackie

Maebee, I wrote at the other board, but it's so doggone busy there I'm sure the thread has dropped down lower. I am very, very sorry to hear about MIL. I am so glad you did get to see her one more time. I have been thinking of you, Joyce and both of your families (excluding your SIL, I hope you don't mind) and I'm wishing you peace during this time.

Maebee, add me to the list of wondering-how-things-went folks. Joyce really hit it on target when she said those who carry on the most are usually the ones who did the least. Sounds like my MIL. Gotta love the relatives, especially the inlaws. Puts the "fun" in disfunctional.

Please don't be a stranger after this passes and you have had time to catch your breath. Take care of yourself and we are here if you need to just talk and let things out.

Checking to see how you're holding up Maebee.

Take care and maybe we can get together soon.

Good morning Friends,
I am waiting for everyone to get up, and I have nervous energy. Things were somewhat OK yesterday, even though exhausting! At one point, before public visitation, I found SIL's "significant other" in the entry area with me, alone, so I went up and introduced myself to him. He seemed nice enough, but VERY quiet, almost timid. Of course, that was the only time he spoke to us.
SIL did confer with Hubby and I on the grave marker. But then, there were other people around. I guess the pastor mentioned to her that Hubby was going to say a few words before the eulogy. Boy, did that strike a nerve! She kept going up to Hubby, "I didn't know you were going to speak, like, what are you going to say, make sure you say ---- and ----" It was like she never heard of someone standing up and speaking about their Loved One! She was really weird about it. Hubby had spoken at the service for their Brother. OH....I'll bet she's afraid he may say something not nice???? about her???? No, not him. He has written some beautiful words, but I don't know if he will be able to do it. Each time he tries to run it by one of us, he breaks down.

Other than the conversation about the grave marker, there was really NO interaction. Thank goodness the room was so large, so we just stayed in our area, and the Family room off the main room. At one point, one of Mom's forever neighbors came in and I went to greet her. I then took her around this wooden screen to SIL, and politely stood there. The neighbor began asking questions. She asked SIL how long Mom was in the hospital. I could tell SIL didn't want to answer, then quietly said "six days". We already knew Mom had been admitted 4 days before we were notified.

Yesterday was exhausting but lovely. So many many hugs and tears. Of course, my Niece was there almost from the beginning, and then she went to get my Sis, so I wasn't without them for long. My Family came, Hubby's workers and co-workers old neighbors of Mom's, old friends of Hubby's, OUR neighbors,. Not really alot, but steadily.

SIL and her SO and 3 other people whom I assume had something to do with him, left abruptly around 6:30-7, without saying anything. I thought they were going out to smoke. SIL and SO were in the parking lot when we had arrived, and she didn't acknowledge we were there, until Hubby went up to her window, even though we drove right past, to park. If she says anything to Hubby about his speaking today, I am just going to tell her to leave him alone. If she wants something specific said, she should talk to the pastor, not Hubby, as his words are HIS words.

I hear stirring, and I have a million things to do. I'll be back later.
Love you guys!

p.s. JOYCE, you don't know how close that is to my house. Only a few miles! I will get back to you later today.

Dearest Maebee and family,

I just wanted to let you know that I have been keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad that you have so many friends to help you and your family through this very difficult time.

As always, dear Maebee you're handling this time---- with grace, under pressure.

May God be with you and bless you and grant you all His peace today and in the days to come.
Remember also, you will se your beloved mom again in heaven and you're never alone.
The Lord is with you always.

Love,
marcie

P.S. I thought I would post this for you as I remember that you said once that this is one of your favorite songs.

You'll Never Walk Alone

When you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky


And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.


Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart


And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Words And Music by Oscar Hammerstein II - Richard Rogers


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgXn4PiK ... =1&index=6