First off, I am sorry for not posting more often. Things have been just topsy turvy for a while and we're adjusting.

I go through periods where I think that I've learned all there is to know about AD and then MIL's cycles change and new things happen. I think AD really does keep you on your toes with all the changes.

MIL is incredibly irritable now. She is in good health physically but she is so much more negitive. She went through pacing at night and turning off all the lights for a solid two weeks. The cookware is hidden again so that always lets me know she's in a cycle.

Hubby is really good at ignoring MIL being irritable but it gets to me. I love her but it's getting hard for me not to yell back. I know that's so dumb because it's the disease talking and not her.

Any tips or pointers on how to deal with extreme irritability?

Thanks!

Kat

I'm a firm believer in medication to help the mood swings associated with AD. It makes the journey so much easier on our LO's and ourselves when they don't have to suffer any more than they already do. I'm not talking about snowing her but just helping her to be a bit more agreeable. My mother had bouts of crying and wanting to die. Very stressful times for her and my father. We asked the dr. about an antidepressant and she was given Prozac. It helped her tremendously and although she did have some days where she felt upset and discouraged, and who wouldn't having AD, she was in a pretty good frame of mind most of the time.

Check with the dr. and see if some medication might be the key to helping her through this hurdle.

Kat,

We've had good results with the seroquel. It has lessend Bill's anxiety and irritability. He was just increased to 100mg 3xs a day. For the first two days he slept about 20 hours out of 24. After that he was alert and a lot better mood. He may still get a moment of anger but it dissappears quickly.

I have no problem using medications to keep him more content.

I've stopped trying to figure AD out. Every time I think things can't get any worse, it all changes. I just expect things to keep changing and try to adjust to each change as it comes.

Maybe it's the weather, but more old friends have come back this past week.
I'm glad you and the others are here. Stick around and help us. We in return will give you all the help we can.

Kat,

Hi, how the heck are you? I've been wondering where you were. See, you need to come here once in awhile hon just to keep yourself sane. But I do know how you feel about thinking we know everything there is to know about AD. I often think the same thing, and then get on here and read and realize I know nothing!! Seems like there is something new with them sometimes not on a daily basis, but at least weekly.

When Mom first started the irritablity thing, I called the doctor, and really wanted something mild as far as an anti-depressant. Plus Mom was not eating well either. She sent me this stuff called Remeron 15mg. The generic name is Mirtazapine. It is also an appetite inhancer. The doctor has said to give it to her at bedtime, which I thought was pretty weird, but when I picked it up the read out on it said the same thing, plus I also looked it up online.

I'm telling you, unless it was pure coincidence, she was on that about 4 days, and what a difference. Her appetite immediatley increased, and the irritability was decreased tremendously. I had explained to the doctor that I didn't want anything that would make her sleep more, but get her out of the depression she seemed to have which I think is what made her irritable with me especially. And I also requested something very mild to start out with, as I figured it could always be increased if necessary. I never did increase it, and she seems to be fine with the 15mg.

I think Kat that no matter what they take, their always going to have a bit of irritability especially in the earlier stages where they realize something is wrong, but not quite sure what it is. But as long as medication is available to help them along, I think it may be time to start MiL on something.

So check with her doctor, or even look up online first the meds everyone has mentioned, and see which would be the right choice for your Mother in law. Then ask the doctor about which he might think would be the best for her.

As far as any other suggestions, I have found out one thing about irritability. When you have a bad day, they have a bad day. When your day is good, theirs probably will be too. When I snap at Mom, she seems to take that to heart for a while, and it sets the whole day in motion for a complete disaster. But we can't be happy and in a good mood every day. So a little medication to help them along is ok. Actually a little medication to help us along is ok too. I myself take 50mg. of Zoloft daily. I wouldn't be without it.

Come back often, we're here for you.

Jackie

I agree with checking out the medical route but I also want to say "give yourself a break". Being a caregiver is a tough job. There will be time when your patience is just worn thin. You just need to regroup and try again.

The only thing constant about this disease is change. I wish there was a way to get used to it but sure enough, once you do, everything will change again.

Thanks for the replies! I appreciate them all!

I'm doing better, I declared Valentines a holiday for myself and didn't do squat lol. I feel better and MIL seems to of gotten better so that's good too.

I agree about the medication also, I think that MIL needs it and it would be better for her. All her kids are still of the mindset that "nature should just take it's course". I think they can't put themselves in her shoes.

Thanks everyone!

Kat

Kat:

I am in the view of medication--however, that being said there were times that I wished mom didn't need them--hated the zoobie mom that she became! But if it made her calmer it was worth it I guess....she could be irratible and angry and emotinal all within the same minute....this disease takes a lot out of one. I to did have those moments where knowing better I just yelled back....I knew it was wrong and felt bad for it---but there were times when her words just angered me --- (thinking back think it was just the stress of seeing her like that and the lack of help while she was on her own....little did I know that when she would be in the hospital & nursing home receiving PAID care that sibs would all of a sudden appear and be helpful....who kenw!)--- but there wer so many times I did try...I did lose everytime I argued with her...even with whatever on my side...she was always right! \

I think we all get that breaking point...we know better --- we all know the mantra "its just the disease" but reality steps forward and sometime we just have to let go....I try to tell myself now when I did argue back and forth it was aimed at the disease and I believe it was....but don't be hard on yourself...sometmes you do need to speak up...

take care
xxoo
karen

Hi Kat,

You might consider having her checked for UTI, my mom has been pretty weepy which she hadn't been after starting the Celexa, it really helped all that, then she became weepy and cranky, she had a UTI, which I was thankful for since we could treat it. She was back to normal, whatever that it, after 2 days on the antibiotic.

Hope you figure it out. We also did the Seroquel, almost a year ago, which did help, had to keep upping it since she was acting so badly at the time.

Take care,

~Kelly~

Kat,

If all the kids are in the mindset to let nature take its course, and they can't be with her for any length of time, make a daily diary for a week or two, and email it to each and every one of them. Since none of us can probably afford to set up a video camera to make the unbelievers realize what the hell we're talking about, then that may be the next best thing. Since I sent my brother and sil that 7 page email, I have to say, things are much better with them understanding how mom really is. And it was only happenings for one day. Plus I've been calling him alot more, and the more time they spend here, the more they get it. 100%? Nope, that will never happen. But enough to satisfy me a little.

And Karen, of all days for you to mention the anger you had with your mom, today was the perfect day. The last few days I've been yelling at Mom so much, and I've felt so horrible. Just to know that its just not you that does that and that its completely normal, really made me feel good. Thanks for still coming here and reminding me thats it ok.

Tonight I just broke down and told my husband I don't know how much longer I can take this. I know I can, and I will, but I just had to say it. I feel so broken sometimes that I just want to grab Mom, shake her, and tell her to stop all this nonsense. The other day I actually threatened to tie her to her recliner if she got up one more time to get ready to go someplace that I knew she wasn't going, but she didn't realize she wasn't. Long story, but I have to say, I almost went to find a rope and I literally screamed at the top of my lungs. Geez, I even scared myself.

Jackie

Thanks everyone for the replies!

MIL has been better, I wonder if she had the flu going around. It's so hard to tell dementia irritability from flu irritability.

Thanks again for the advice! I appreciate it!

Kat