I can't believe this is happening! I highly suspected over a year ago and talked with her husband and daughter in law about it. They were thinking the same thing, but she left today after visiting for 4 days and I'm sure of it now. Her daughter, son in law and 6 week old first granddaughter were killed 4 1/2 yrs ago by a drunk driver. We thought maybe it was from grief and hormones, but there are WAY too many signs now to mistake it for anything else. She has gotten much worse in the past 4 months even. She got off on the wrong exit driving herself to the airport the other day saying that the sun was in her eyes and there was construction, but she couldn't believe that she did it. She told me mistake after mistake that she constantly makes, and she doesn't understand it, but she has mentioned many times that maybe she has AD.

The sad part is that she has been so faithful to come visit my mom and listen to me cry and tell her the incredibly crazy things about AD, and now she has it. She will be 53 next week and this has been going on for a while. She asked my 2nd daughter if daughter #1 has her drivers license, she has asked that many times. That daughter has had her license for 7 1/2 yrs and yet she keeps asking. She's ridden in the car with her, she hears about the places she goes......... This time she interfered with my children causing quite a sad situation which she never would of done before and I had to have it out with her. She honestly didn't think she said what she did but I heard it separately from 4 of the kids and they all said the same thing. My mom hurt my kids really badly and I don't want that to start all over again. We usually LOVE having her here and this time I couldn't wait for her to leave, it was hard on all of us.

Younghope, I wonder if you might be able to answer a few questions or anyone else who has any insight. When would we want to try Aricept? What do I look for to know it is time? She told me on her last trip home from our home, a 9 hour car trip, she almost crashed twice because it was dark. She wouldn't tell her husband though. She works 3 days a week in sales and hasn't told me about any mistakes there yet. She is also planning her sons whole wedding right now for 200 plus people!!!! Unbelievable. She is obsessed with fashion and trying to manage her adult childrens lives and she would not of done that before, now she is trying to manage and change mine. This is what clued me into my mom's AD, she was obsessed with things. I think on her last visit that she almost told me that she thinks she has AD, but then she kindof under her breath said we'll deal with that later. Her son gets married in a month, so my question is, do I talk to her about it after the wedding? We didn't talk with my mom and it made it hard. I think right now my sister would be somewhat reasonable if we told her that the reason she was being this way was because of the AD, but am I being unrealistic? She was always mad because we didn't MAKE my mom stop acting the way she did. She couldn't seem to get it through her head that you cannot change the mind and behavior of an AD person. My sister tried with my mom and it wasn't pretty, but she kept insisting that it could be done.

I'm all cried out, I don't have the energy to cry about this. I've cried for 4 1/2 yrs about my niece and then my mom and I just want to focus on my family and being a good wife and mother and daughter taking care of my mom and dad. I don't want to have to grieve my sister, she's been my best friend other than my husband and children and now she is going to start, well has already starting acting crazy.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Hope all is well with all of you, I miss you all, you're so quiet.

Joyce, I'll be praying that the Dr.'s will find out what happened with your granddaughter and that it will be minor.

~Kelly~

Kelly,
I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am to hear about your sister. I don't know how much the aricept helped Bill, but, from what others have said the sooner they start on it the better it is. If she does have AD the aricept may keep her alert enough to get through the wedding and even enjoy it. Maybe knowing that will get her into the doctor for a diagnosis and get started on the aricept and maybe namenda.
I'll keep you and her in my prayers.

It is quiet around here isn't it? I hope things are going well with you and your family and that little granddaughter. She should make Christmas pretty special this year.

How are your mother and dad doing?

Dear Kelly,

What can I say except I am so sorry. I hope your sister can get started on medication and that it will prove effective for her. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

DearcKelly,
Alzheimer's sucks!!!
I'm so sorry about your sister. I agree with everyone else - the sooner the better.
Take care
Eileen

Kelly,

I am really sorry to hear about your sister and my humble advice is to talk with her ASAP and start with the Aricept right away. There is no way to tell how much is it helping until it is stopped. I know that mom is in heaven having a great time right now but I truly believe that if we hadn't stopped the Aricept she would still be here in some sort of fashion. It only took a matter of two or three days for her to go downhill once the Aricept was stopped. The combo of Aricept and Namenda kept her mind from progressing as quickly as this disease can. I know that it will not bring back what she has already lost but it will make a difference. The only drawback may be if she can't tolerate the medicine. Don't wait, the sooner the better. Mom was on Ativan for the paranoia and obsessive behavior. You may want to ask about that also. We will be praying for your family and hope that the conversation goes well.

Kelly,
Ok now, one step at a time. First thing you have to do is convince her husband to get her to a doctor regarding this ASAP. Deciding about Aricept or anything else is really mute right now. She has to have all the proper tests first as I know you know. Since she is so young, and just because your Mom has AD, does not mean she does. There are I'm sure many other things that it could be thats causing her to do all these things. And I bet the first thing they'll want to do is a brain scan or MRI to rule out anything else.

Tracy, Younghope, I'm sure can give you the best advice where this is concerned. If you don't hear from her in a few days, let me know and I'll pm you her email address. In fact, I will email her right now and ask her to read your post.

I also have a sister, a few years older then yours, so I sure know what you might be going through. And since you are so very close to her, you may be the only one to convince her of the steps to take. Her doctor and then probably a neurologist would be a good start. I know you've had it with all this AD stuff, and its been a long hard journey and continues to be. But you need to calm down and put her in touch with whoever you can, but still keeping your sanity and tending to your family.

If I've read you right in the time I've known you, you will not be able to sit idle doing nothing. I'm not saying you have to go through it the same way as you did your Mom, but you have to just start the ball rolling and then let her and her husband and children do the rest, and gently guide them through the rest.

Again, don't assume yet its AD. It could be anything, and something that very well could be taken care of. So you calm yourself down, and say those prayers extra hard, and have the faith in Him that you always have. And remember, we're here for you too as you always are for us. We'll help you through this as much as we can.

love my friend,
Jackie

Kelly, I am sorry for what has brought you here but you are surrounded amongst a new family now. Your sister needs to see a Neurologist ASAP and IF she in fact has dementia needs to be put on Aricept or some medication for dementia. Namenda is one for sure, that medication has been a blessing in my life though I am continuing to progress. I just saw my psychaitrist yesterday and I am now hallucinating by hearing voives that aren't there. I will swear that my husband talks to me but he never mutters a word. I've even gotten mad at him over things I thouight I heard him say and he says he never did. It sounds like she is past due to be put on medication and the earlier you are started on it the better quality of life that a person will have. Besure to ask about the Namenda with it too. Taking together she has a better chance of doing better. Obsessive compulsive is a part of this disease and as it progresses it only gets worse. I will sweep my kitchen floor several times a day because I see one speck on it. Please get your sister to a neurologist and let us know how everything goes.

Tracy

Thank you each one for your love and concern, it really means more than you know. Jackie, you made me cry, thank you for your words of wisdom. Tracy, you are a dear and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, it must be so incredibly frustrating and sad. But, you are amazing and such an encouragement to all of us, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I spoke with my sister's daughter in law. She is a dear, kind, incredibly smart, forgiving young woman. I asked her how things were going and she had a hard time wanting to say anything negative, but things are not going well, worse than I thought. She said my sister is lashing out and is sometimes mean, which is not at all what she used to be like. Her tolerance for children is basically non-exsistent, which I was ever increasingly aware of. I won't say any more, but it is scary. My sister called last night to make sure things were okay with us which I assured her they were fine and that I love her. She is just so unreasonable and blows things out of proportion, so now the one I shared my griefs with other than my husband is gone and I cannot share much with her anymore as she is attacking the way we raise our children and that really scares me. She wanted us to come to their church and teach a parenting class, begged us, now she is finding fault and saying weird, conflicting things. Sooooo, like my mom I have to weigh every word and protect her from herself. I'm sounding complainy and selfish I know, it's just such a pain and so sad. I adored my sister, depended on her, could brag about my children to her like I wouldn't do with anyone else except my mother. I DON'T WANT TO KEEP GOING THROUGH THIS!

Okay, I'm better now that I said that!! The wedding is the first part of January, I will have to wait until after then to speak again with her husband about getting her to the Dr. I did look up the symptoms of Vit. B12 deficiency and found a few things that she suffers from. Like my mom she is basically in excellent health. So, let's hope it will be something like that instead of AD. They do say that early onset is one of the ones that is considered hereditary, do you know how that scares me? My mom was in her early 60's I'm sure looking back when she first started this and now my sister in her early 50's. Well, I'm 46 so at least I didnt' start in my early 40's!!!! At least I don't think so! I keep asking my girls if I am doing any of these things, they say no, so I'll have to believe them.

Thank you all again, you have given me direction to know what to do. I will give her husband and daughter in law the info. and then let them take it from there. If they don't listen to me for now I will have to accept that and wait and pray. Her daughter in law wanted to know more about the Aricept and where to get it so she is willing and sweet to listen. Thanks for the suggestions of Namenda, we used both of those on my mom and is was astounding the difference. It was too late for her and actually made things worse in the long run, but they worked amazingly to clear her brain. Long story.

Thank you for writing back, I need you all.

May each of you thoroughly enjoy this Christmas season for all that it means,

~Kelly~

Oh Kelly, dear, I can't even imagine. I am so glad that Younghope (Tracy) weighed in too. The last thing ANYONE should have to endure, is going through this twice, or more than once, although it seems to often happen, but not this young, right? You will be a blessing to their family, even if they don't know it, YOU are an expert! Please, as Jackie said, do not overwhelm yourself, give information, and then try to lay low, and take care of you, your own family, & your Mom, THAT IS ENOUGH! Mom's husband now has AD, or Dementia, or had another Stroke, and I couldn't believe how much harder it was, to take care of two? I actually did, but could never again. I am still bed-ridden. We can not Do-It-All, although we think we can!

Your family will surely be in my Prayers, this Holiday season. I know it will be a hard one, but I wish you could see through their eyes, how *Lucky* they all are, to have.....YOU!

Kelly, I'm so very sorry to hear this. You and your family will be strongly in my prayers.

It's perfectly understandable to want to wait until after the holidays and wedding to go through tests and everything but, just as a reminder to her husband/daughter in law, sometimes it takes several weeks to even get appointments plus all the waiting for results before going on to the next. I wish they could at least get her in to see her primary now. Like you say, something could be off, B-12, thyroid, something, that simple meds could level out before the wedding. At least that, and referrals and appointments could be made.

Please, don't ever feel you sound complainy or selfish here. Those words aren't used among us caregivers! "Others" maybe, but not us. This is all so heartbreaking, scary, painful, sad--all of it--and it all hurts! Sometimes all we have is each other to talk to. There's nothing complaining or selfish in............crying.........about it all. We're crying with you. The way I see it, when we reach those points when we can bear no more, and The Lord promises an escape, it comes in whatever means it takes in order to feel His Peace again. That's all we can wish for each other.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Thank you Sky and Sames U, you are both so kind. My 17 yr old son reminded the dairy farmer across the street who he has been working long hours for all week because we have been in the single digits and everything, I mean everything went haywire over there, that God is in control of ALL things good and bad and we are to trust Him in everything and give Him glory. The farmer had thrown up his hands and walked away, come back and then was going to walk away again until son said that. The guy went home, read his Bible with his wife and came back all fired up, whistling and smiling while he worked. Son is so right and I am trying to constantly remember that and be joyful through this. Trials bring forth perseverance and I want to persevere even through yet another trial!!!

Thank you Sames U for the encouragement to contact my brother in law to get the ball rolling. That is exactly what I was thinking, but was dragging my feet not knowing how he would respond. He isn't exactly the easiest guy to talk to. I am going to send him an email, he prefers emails so he can contemplate, so I will do that right now. You gave me the push I needed. Thanks too for the part about me complaining, I never think anyone else is, but when I do it I feel bad.

Weather has been crazy here like all over. Dad went out this morning to get the paper, didn't see that EVERYTHING was iced over, started down the 4 concrete steps and starting slipping, couldn't stop, hit the slanted asphalt and down he went. Got the wind knocked out of him and had to lay there for a while, then had a hard time getting up. We've been putting Arnica oil all over his back and neck and gave him some natural things and Ibuprofen. He got a bit shaky and is hurting so I gave him Rescue Remedy and he said he felt much better. I think the chiropractor's office is going to be packed on Monday. We drove home last night late, usually about a 45 min. drive, took 1hr 40min and we saw LOTS of accidents and cars in the ditch on the way home, yikes, crazy. It warmed up and then the freezing rain started.

Well, I'll let you know what brother in law says if anything.

Thank you again for your prayers and encouragement, you are all such a blessing.

~Kelly~