Well, this past Sunday Mom had diarrhea. She had 12 bowel movements from 9am until 12:30pm. I called her doctor, she said to bring her to the hospital asap. The best thing was that the doctor called the hospital to have a room ready for her instead of her going to the ER. I still had to call 911 though, as she was so weak, there was no way we could have gotten her in the car. Thank God my sister had stayed over the night before and was here. I could have never managed her myself. She did have Depends on, but it was still really a mess. She just wouldn't go all the way in the Depends, and wanted to go on the toilet. So most of the time on the way sitting down, well you know. What a mess!!

When those medics came, she had a fit. I'm surprised she had the strength to. She refuse for them to take her. Of course she doesn't realize that she can refuse all she wants, and it doesn't matter. Then one of the fireman that came, is trying to "reason" with her into agreeing to go. I must of told this guy 20 times that she had AD, but it didn't matter. He was going to convince her, and that was that. Even the medics were looking very disturbed by what he was doing. I finally got her shoes, put them on, and said to him, "Get her up and take her NOW! And I lifted her head off the pillow. I wanted to sock him.

The doctor wanted to do a stool sample at the hospital, but would you believe she didn't have anymore left to sample. She stay until Monday, got IV's and that was that. Guess there calling it a bug for now.

But oh my, you should have heard her from the time we got in the ambulance till she was finally knocked out around 9:30pm. She went on and on about how dare I put her there, and there was nothing wrong with her. And how everyone sneaked around her to get her there and on and on and on.

The nurse that was taking care of her saw that I was really starting to get upset. I just couldn't stop her from talking and blaming me for her being there. I don't really know how she found the strength to go on and on, as she was so dehydrated and so weak, but boy did she. She called moms doctor, and they tried xanax on her. Well, that just made her worse. Finally the doctor gave her Aitvan right in the IV. Boy, within 10 minutes she was out like a light.

And I did something smart. I had called Mom's Granny Nanny to come and stay overnight. I knew with my knee, that I just wouldn't have made it. I went back there Monday morning, and she was so incoherent from the Aitvan. They had given her another dose during the night, as she was getting wild again, and another at 5am in the morning. Her doctor made me keep her there until after breakfast and lunch, and then I brought her home. She's doing ok now.

But what the doctor did was really amazing. She signed her up for temporary (a few weeks) home health care. Guess they may have to be in the hospital for another reason, and medicare pays for it. So I have a nurse coming 3times a week to take her BP and vitals, a physical therapist working on strenghtening her legs (she has arthritis so very bad) and their even sending an aide to shower her on Saturday. Got a feeling that that will be a really big fight, but I thought, well lets try. I have such a hard time with her, even with the shower chair.

If I could at least have the aide come once a week to shower her, that would be great.

They say things come in three's. Mom, hubby and my computer all had viruses. Hate to sound really selfish, but I was worried so much about MY COMPUTER!!!

Supposedly all this flu thing is going around, so watch your loved ones. At the first sign of diarhhea, get the liquids in them, which was impossible for me, or just get them to the hospital.

Jackie

Oh my oh my, Jackie. What a grueling time for all concerned.
I'm so glad they've authorized more help for you, though, even
if it is only temporary. Seems like the flu season is getting an
extra early start this year...

Jackie, I have to agree that you have your hands full! Poop cleanup is never pleasant, especially diarrhea. Got to say that the avitan works fairly well, but check to see if there is anything else that might control her mood swings. I hate to see them all doped up just to make the nurses' job easier.

I pray that Mom will be able to accept the helpers and make your lives easier, if only for a short while. You're in my daily prayers.

Oh, Jackie,

I'm so sorry your mom is blaming and saying such horrible things about you. I know no matter how many times you tell yourself that she has AD, and she can't help it, it still hurts and is very wearing on your emotions. I KNOW! You were very smart to have her special gal stay with her through the night so you could rest, even if it hadn't been for your knees, all those emotions are so draining. So glad they sent help for now, that will be great.

Hang in there,

~Kelly, your fried friend~

Debra,
Oh no, it was totally my idea to give Mom something to knock her out. I just couldn't take it anymore. From the time we got to the hospital, 2pm, until they gave her the Ativan, 9pm, she never stopped. The nurse actually had told me that they don't like to give AD patients things like that, and I told her to please beg the doctor for something, as I couldnt' take it anymore.

But you are right, I wouldn't give it to her again, not at home anyhow. It did make her too doped up, but calmed her down alot. Although I have to say, if I would have had some today, I might have given it to her. She was on all fours today, and she wouldn't let up. So instead, I just put up with it, called my GRanny Nanny, and my husband and I went out with some friends, and as you can see, got home quite late. (I shouldn't have had that coffee)

Thanks for the prayers Debra, I could always use some extra!

Kelly - my fried! Guess I should tell everyone about the fried thing. Amber, one of Kelly's daughters mentioned that it was Kelly's birthday on her blog. I wrote a birthday message to her. I said "Happy Birthday my dear fried"

So not only are my emotions high, but my spelling lately is much to be desired. Thank God Lori always tells me its caregivers dementia, and it should pass. Think she might just be pacifying me. (Did I spell that right?)

It's nice to know that everyone one here understands the hurt feelings you can get with our loved ones. And your right Kelly, they can't help it, and I guess we just have to get that in our minds and not take it personally. But as you know, its so very hard.

As far as the help - forget it. They won't be coming long. Mom refused to let the aid shower her, told the physical therpist she could walk better then her (actually ran to the recliner and the therapist said she does really good) and told the nurse she does not need her blood pressure taken and her heart and breathing checked because her daughter can do that! They all think she is in tip top condition because she is able to fake it so well. I still can't figure out how an AD patient can do that!
Not the blood pressure of course, but thats been really good too. So farewell to all these people. I'd rather they go give their services to someone who really wants and needs them. They have really been abused here by Mom, and I cant' take the stress of her argueing with these people.

Hmmm - might just be the time to start that Ativan again huh?

Jackie

Oh Jackie,

I'm so sorry, I can really relate to the constant arguing and faking, it is so very frustrating and taxing. I am baffled that AD people can do it and do it so very well. My mom had really slowed in her walking and was a tad bit toddly and then she ran down the street 1/4 of mile and never stopped!! Just unbelievable.

I'm so glad you have your granny nanny that you can call, you have to get away from that stress or you just can't keep going. I know we were all so stressed and really didn't know how badly until mom was placed and even then it has taken quite a while for the stress level to drop. Of course, there are plenty of stresses just having her there, but at least when we visit we are not the enemy any more. I really enjoy our visits now.

The other day my husband took me to see Fireproof at the theatre, super good movie by the way, and it starts out with a scene with a mother who has had a stroke and cannot speak and her daughter is telling her how much she wishes she could talk to her. Oh, the tears came fast and furious. Then today, I had my whole family around the table singing Happy Birthday to me, my husband, all my children, my new daughter in law, my daddy, but no mommy. I burst into tears and couldn't blow my candles out for a while. I remember someone on here saying that it is more difficult once you place them than having them at home, and now I can believe them. But, there isn't the constant stress and charged atmosphere in the house from all the anger and arguing. ~Sigh~ AD is just hard no matter what.

You take care, I know you know your mom can't help it, but there is no way possible to not let it get to you, it just hurts.

Give that husband of yours a big hug, he's got to be a gem,

~Kelly~

Kelly,

See, thats what I like about coming here. Everyone truly does understand. When the physical therapist has come here, she looks at me like I'm the one that has AD. She keeps saying that Mom walks so good, and really does her exercises well, and that I probably won't be needing her for very long. I want to tell her to come here for 12-15 hours one day, and see what she thinks then. She told me that Mom reminds her of her Mom. I asked her if her Mom has AD also, she told me no, but she's fiesty for her age like my Mom and does really well at things. Boy, has she fooled this girl!!

I understand what you mean when you started crying when the family was around singing to you for your birthday. A few weeks ago, we went to my 2 grandsons birthday pary, and the other great grandma's were there, and Mom wasn't. When I see how active they are, and how much they were enjoying themselves, it brought me to tears. One even had hip and knee surgery and is doing wonderful. She's a bit younger, but I have to say, I was envious. The other is Moms age, lives alone, and is sharp as a tack. It really breaks your heart thinking of the way things could have been instead of the way they are.

I'll tell you one thing Kelly, you and the others that have your loved ones in homes are really on the top of my list. It takes great strength. And right now, I don't have that strength. I hope one day if I have to make that decision I get stronger, as right now they would probably have to bring me with her.

My husband - there's not enough I could say about him. I thank God for him everyday. If it wasn't for him, I would truly be a weak noodle. He is absolutley my rock. He's more patient with Mom, and takes over with her as much as he can. Plus since I've been having this knee problem, he's become quite the cook on days when I just can't move. He has accepted this life change and has never complained about it. So Mom can watch programs on TV that she likes, he goes into our living room and watches what he wants in there. These were suppose to be the days with our children gone and married that were to be the best days of our lives. So much for the Golden years huh? But he never once has had any regrets with Mom being here.

Thank you and all for all the support you give me. I don't know what I would do without all of you.

Jackie

Jackie, I'll never be able to figure out how they can get it together when around strangers either. I've only had to take mom once and that was when she was extremely congested and actually wheezing. She complained bitterly the whole time we were in the ER and talked about how she wanted to go home and SMOKE... She answered all their questions like there was nothing wrong with her - I was just listening in amazement.

Judy,
Isn't it just amazing how they fool people. A lady that use to live in the same condo complex as my Mom called today. I talked to her first and was telling her about how bad Mom was getting. I then let mom talk to her. She had said just a few strange things to this woman, but nothing really out of line. I then got back on the phone with her, and she said how wonderful mom sounded! I proceeded to tell her how clever Mom can be when she wants to. I didnt' have to convince her long as she is a nurse, and she also has a brother in law with AD, so she said she knows that can happen as she sees it with her BIL, and of course when she was nursing. So glad I didn't look like I was the one exagerating again.

I swear when their in the hospital especially in the ER, some of these nurses look at me kinda strange like I'm making it all
up. I really don't think that many nurses have much experience with AD, and I think they should all be required to work with AD patients just once in their training. Cause I sure hate getting those looks of confusion on their faces!

Jackie

I remember with my mom she would act like she was understanding conversations and she would try so hard to not let anyone know anything was wrong. I think she fully understood what was wrong with her (having taken care of my grandparents for 22 years) and she was petrified, not so much trying to fool anyone. I look back now and it breaks my heart to think of all the times she tried so hard to cover her disease up out of fear for herself and even for us. I think she felt that if she was ever "found out" we would have put her in a nursing home and that was her worst fear. That's why she always tried to be on her "best behavior". Heartbreaking.

Snick,
What a good explanation. I think that's exactly whats happening with Mom. She many times tries to offer things in conversation, and most times makes no sense, but she thinks she does. She wants to show us that she still has something to offer. And the nursing home thing, I think your absolutely right. Thanks again for reminding us that things with them are not to be clever, or done on purpose, but to hide what they truly know is there. I seem to keep forgetting that. Thanks always for your wisdom and advice. It helps alot!

Jackie

Dear - dear Jackie!

I'm sending you a GREAT BIG Hug to you dear one! I just can't imagine how you handle all this while contending with your own health problems with your knee! But I'm SO glad that you have those angels (Your Hubby & Granny Nanny) there to help you along the way of this long road of AD with your mother! Your husband sounds so much like mine! We truly are blessed to have them as our "rock" when we need them! God Bless them!

As others have said, I also believe that our LO's just don't want to give up their independence or admit that they need help. So, they over-compensate for their AD by having "an attitude" and fighting help along the way. I also know first hand how these health events going to the hospital can be so devestating to the AD patients. It throws them off as it is also scary and confusing. I think you handled this all very well!!

I had my own scare with my mother this morning. . .she had a mini-stroke. I'll write more on a separate posting.

Love from your friend,

Connie

Oh Connie, a mini stroke? Yes, please let us know what's going on and how your Mom is doing.

We'll be waiting.

Jackie