Just kidding. MIL is home for four days, she kept insisting on coming home to rearrange her clothes because it's spring. She drummed at everyone so much that finally DH said 'I know she won't do well at home, but man, let's being her home to let her get it out of her system' so she came home Thursday. Bit of background--we built a house and moved so that FIL and MIL could live with us, we waited 10 years for them to decide to come. In that time FIL passed away of AD and lung cancer, and until the year before last MIL insisted she would not live in Kobe with us. Eventually we gave up. We moved out of the two-family house, and were preparing to sell it when MIL decided to move in, and did. Now she's in a facility as she progressed rapidly, she would need 24-hour a day supervision were she to come home. But she asks to come home once in a while, we left the house and her things as they were and I maintain it and clean it.

Anyway she came to our house on Thursday to rest up for the big spring tidy the next day. Or so I thought, until she asked 'Hey what did you ever do with that house you lived in before this one?' 'You live there, all your things are there'
'You don't say'. Oh my. Well I took her the next day and we got through her clothes alright. However--

'I have to poop. Give me an enema'
'You just pooped. You can't have an enema'
'Me? I did? Oh.'

One hour later ,
'I haven't pooped in days'
'You pooped two hours ago'
'Give me an enema'
'No, you already went'

All......day.......long..................(here we need the bang-my-head-on-a-brick-wall emoticon)Thursday, Friday and today. It escalates. 'My bum feels funny. Give me an enema' 'you just went, no enema, sorry' 'My bum hole feels weird, I NEED an enema (sorry)' 'WHERE are the ENEMAS?' Just an hour ago I'd had it, 'No more talk about poop, poop, poop! Let's talk about something else!!' a little louder than I needed to say it SO insistent that she hasn't gone in 'days' . She's totally fixated on it. And every bit of gas she passes is 'evidence' she needs an enema.*Brup!* 'SEE?? I need an enema!!!'

I know I can't do anything about it, I just felt like coming on and grumbling a bit. Thanks for the space to grumble.

I hadn't realized while she was in the hospital setting how bad her memory has gotten, her days there are structured. Bring her home and there are too many changes and variables to deal with, the deficits become very obvious. Now her own personal history is all garbled. I've been listening without correcting these past 3 days, but boy is it all messed up. When she did things, when our son was born, it's hard to describe but I feel so bad for her, she's lost.

It is so hard watching them go through this. You want to do everything you can to help them. You feel sorry for what's happening to them but you get very frustrated, too. Then you feel guilty for getting frustrated. It's one big circle. Sorry, frustrated, angry, guilty, around and around.

Sometimes just saying it out loud helps relieve some of the built up tention. That's what is so good about coming here. No one criticizes and we're always here to listen.

Did you get MIL's clothes rearranged?

Thought: maybe MIL has hemroids (that's not how you spell that, but you know what I mean). That could be why she says it feels funny.

Take care Crella

I have no advice for you but wanted to say you are a good daughter-in-law to bring her home and to deal with a day like that.
I'm sure it made her happy.
northernlights

Oh I know so well about going around that circle, Joyce. It's happening less and less often but I sometimes do get utterly frustrated. These past couple of days I've gone into our sound-proof room (the person who built the house we're in now was a drummer in an amateur band) and tooted the bejesus out of my sax for 10 minutes, and then go back and deal with the continuation of all the complaints. It's worked wonders, this will be my MO from now on. MILs clothes are all sorted and she has a bag of spring clothes to take back to the hospital with her. Mission accomplished. I never thought of hemorrhoids, I'll tell the nurses about her problems with her tush!

Northernlights, thank you, she seems happy! All well that ends well I guess

She's in bed asleep now, I'm indulging myself with some Bailey's and some Hershey's Bliss, going now to watch TV with DH.

Have a good day, it's 10 pm where I am , I assume it's morning for you!

Yes it's morning here. I can't have Baileys for breakfast but it sure would make the day better. LOL
northernlights

Oh gosh, you have a sound proof room? How wonderful. I think every caregiver could use one of those!!

Crella,

Even if she doesn't have Hemmoroids, I'd give her a suppository for it anyhow. Just tell her its a new kind of enema and it should make her poop. It might just get her to let up on it and it won't hurt her.

The patience we have to have with this damned disease huh???

Jackie

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your ideas and support!! I talked to the nurses, they are going to check her out.

It's hard to see them so disoriented, but you must admit that it's funny too! Who ever WANTS an enema? Laurette is starting to get lost in her house of 35+ years and she doesn't always remember all the names of her children. She can't name her brothers and sisters, etc. It's definitely sad, but there can be some funny things that come from it too.

Crella, I'm a caregiver for a dear little old lady who has a fixation with FARTING!

If she's not doing it herself, she's asking if the people on the tv did it... and it doesn't help that her daughter in California keeps sending her fart jokes!

Ha, ha!I bet she loves her fart jokes, though! When my great-grandmother got into her late 80s and early 90s the funniest thing in the world for her was to call people she knew and sound off into the phone! She lived on the third floor, my mother and her family on the second. The phone would ring, they'd pick it up, hear 'Booof!' and the phone would slam down. They always knew who it was though, because they'd hear her killing herself laughing upstairs.

I meant to post this, and completely forgot---

I can't remember who said it, but whoever suggested putting on lights before it gets dark to help sundowning, THANK YOU, it worked like a charm! When MIL came home for New Years she was weepy every evening, even though we were careful to always have someone with her. I put on the living room and dining room lights at about 5:15, about 45 minutes before it got dark, before we knew it we were through dinner and it was her bedtime, with no weepies. She was cheerful right up until bedtime.

What a great help that was, thank you.