Hi everyone. It's been awhile since I was on and just wanted to know how everyone was doing. Jackie how are you doing with your transition and change in your life? It seems like life just goes on as if nothing has really changed but we will always remember our loved ones. For those still in the battle it is easy to second guess yourself when it is all over. Reminding myself that I did the best I could is a daily occurrence. Still having emotional times usually when not expecting it, like in the grocery store the other night. Changes, changes, changes and telling myself that God is in control and letting go of the feelings. Not easier just another shoulder to leave the troubles. Have been away from home since the week before Christmas and missing my bed, won't be home until toward the end of February. Life, changes and learning to go with the flow. Will check in again when time and the situation allows. Hope everyone is doing well and keeping up the hope and encouragement.

Hi Linda. Sorry, not much advice about mourning, yet. I'm sure you are doing the very best you can, and Thank-God we have FAITH? How could anyone live through this, without it? See you in YoVille (The great escape!)

N.Mc.

Hi Linda,
Things are going pretty good here. The 21st of this month will be one year that Bill's been gone. I've had good times and I've had bad times. But on the whole more good times.
I was able to head north last May and stayed there until Nov. with a few trips. I came back down to my home near Detroit and participated in the Memory Walk for Alzheimers that they had here. Later on I came back down and picked up Deb and my sister and went to Chicago for the quilt showing there. There were seven of us that made that trip and we all got to enjoy each others company. Right after that I brought Deb and my sister back home and went right back to Chicago and spent three weeks at my daughters when my SIL had surgery to repair two herniated disks. From there I stopped off at my sisters again and spent a week with her before heading back up north.

All the grandkids came up north for a few weeks in July and then their parents came up. My whole month of July was company. I was going to say entertaining company, but I don't entertain I just give them a place to sleep. Lori was able to make it down the sandy road and spent, what was it Lori, two weeks? She then followed me back to my house down state and spent a few days there before she headed to AnnR house.

I did have a scare at Christmas with my oldest daughter. She spent Christmas in the hospital with pancreatitis and they couldn't rule out pancreatic cancer. That put a big damper on Christmas, but it gave me something to think about besides the fact that it was the first Christmas that Bill was gone. Things have since proved negative on the cancer.

I've joined a gym and go there every day. It's something that I am enjoying . This pretty much sums up my last year.

Now how is everyone else?

There isn't a lot going on around here. DH lost his job in Nov. so we no longer have health insurance but so far that hasn't been a problem. However, his sitting on the couch all day and half the night, watching TV or dozing is about to drive me stark raving mad

Mom has been gone for over 2 years now and I still wish I could see her each and every day. I doubt that feeling will ever go away, but much of the pain associated with losing her has become a distant memory. I'd just like to talk to her again, and feel her reassuring presence.

My grandkids are growing like weeds and I find it so amazing they are getting older while I am not And I am always grateful they live close by and I can see them regularly.

Oh yeah, Wally (pictured as my avatar) is doing great. He's now 5 1/2 yrs. old and weighs 115 lbs -- definitely NOT your typical labrador retriever My vet teases there must be something in my water to cause my labs to grow so big (I had a female before Wally that weighed 110..... ) I don't care, I love each and every pound of him

I check in several times a week, I just don't sign in 'cuz I find I have less and less to say as time passes. But you all remain in my heart and my prayers.

Hi all, hi Joyce. So you are going to the gym? Hot-Damn, that is impressive. I actually got scared into walking several miles, every other day, when my Doc found my BP was 160/100! I went out and bought a BP cuff, and it seems to be fine now? The weather has not been cooperating, just because it is in between. Snow, rain, sleet & freezing rain, I don't mind the snow!

It is kind of weird being one of the very few, that still has my Loved One alive, & still on earth. Like I am in my own little category. I don't know why I feel that way, almost like survivor's guilt, or I don't want to remind all of you, of the not so 'good-old-days' but I do know in my heart, that you are the only ones that can truly understand my pain, feeling of helplessness, the whole experience, only someone that has been through it, can really understand it.

I'm glad you've had so much company Joyce, and boy was that a scare with your daughter. I bet you & Lori have become fast friends, you both have that awesome sense of humor, and you are both BPW's (Bold & Powerful Women!)

Hi Nancy, Joyce and Karenlee, it was nice to hear from each of you. Karenlee I agree with you about the signing in. I come here quite often but don't always sign in. Keep hoping to find someone on the chat but haven't been that lucky yet. Just passed another milestone in the journey with mother's day and another one coming up in a couple of week when the family has the sale for Mom's things. Not quite sure how I am going to handle that one yet but with each day the pain subsides a little more. There doesn't seem to be much activity on here these days and I hope everyone still caring for their loved one is doing ok.