As stated in my intro I had to put my Lo in the SNF unit 12/06. Since she has been there she has had pneumonia 3 times and she fell there and broke her leg.
Hospitalized 4 times in 10 months.

First problem she wants to come home. It is tearing me up. All I want to do is cry. Now that is not productive I know. Solves nothing. So I know my loved one very very well. I warned the SNF that it was all about to hit the fan. I could tell she has started stuttering when she talks. She took a while to decide what to say at all times to me. And always asked when she was coming home. Her diagnosis in May of 07 is 1) Alz dementia, mild with behavioral problems Generalized anxiety disorder
2) cluster b traits
3) chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, diabetes mellitus type II, (type I now), hypertension, diabetic neuropathy
4) Moderate medical problems
5) GAF 45

And she always has a UTI. Which I am calling about tomorrow.
I can not care for her at home to the level that she needs. But she will not let go of this. She calls me twice daily and is asking to go home. For me to come and get her. And the hardest thing she says is 'have I done something wrong tell me and we can fix it'. When she calls it is the same thing over and over and over. She is in a SNF 45 minutes from my home and they are really good to her there. She can not room with anyone and they have her in a private room and charge me for a semi private. They do not want to medicate her do to her above illnesses. But tonite she calls me screaming about her clothes that they have stolen that they are not responsible there and they need to pay her for her clothes. Her voice was very very hoarse sounding. Don't know how she could screatch that loud. Again for me to come and get her. And she says I have not seen you since my Bday. Not true. I make sure I go every week and I call daily. I wish I could go daily but I can not for multiple reasons. So the DON said this to will pass and for me to just not pay attention to her messages. But my heart just goes out to my LO and it tears me up. Wouldn't it be horrible to live like that. Can't they give her something that won't drug her but calm her down. She is on prosac and klonipin now. But I sure wouldn't want to be in that state of mind. Am I wrong here?
I keep telling the staff I want my LO bubble wrapped in charmin 2 inches thick! They tell me she smiles and laughs but she calls me mad is this a new stage? Or something????
And she never told tales with this until now. The psych went in on Tuesday and tried to explain to her why she could not come home. She calls me and says come and get me they released me to come home both doctors did. I call the Social Services lady and asked her how LO is and what is this permission to come home. She said Linda I was there and he did not tell her she could come home. LO said god is talking to her a lot lately and going to make her whole again or something like that. Anywho. I could ramble about this for hours. I am sure you have heard some of this if not all and a lot more. I know breathe. But it is so hard when your heart just aches. Oh and yes all this is usually in the evenings and she was on Geodon then seroquel and the psych took her off the seroquel Sept 17th.
I have DPOA and if I need to direct these professionals to do something in her best interest I figured you all would be the ones to ask.
Linda

Dear Linda,
My heart breaks for what you and your LO are going through, and I think
you are doing a tremendous job. I wish I had a magic wand--we all do--or
something brilliant to offer.
The one thing that came to my mind is that maybe your LO (auntie, right?)
could benefit from some one-on-one caregiving. My Dad is in an ALF and
I have hired a caregiver to come in just for him for four hours or so every
afternoon (including the sundowning period, which was starting to be a real
problem for him). These agencies generally have a 4-hour minimum, but it
does not have to be every day. The hourly rates vary greatly, but most run
between $15-$18/hour. I feel like I'm spending my Daddy's money (I'm also
his DPOA) willy nilly--On the other hand, it has greatly helped his situation
and, thus, improved his quality of life. I also remind myself that this is a
stage he's going through (also with agitation), and that when this stage is
over, I may look back at it longingly, since what comes after will probably
be even harder for him.
I'm just thinking that if someone was there for your LO at the most
troublesome time of day and could help distract her and give her whatever
she needs--visiting, activity, exercize, or just peace 'n quiet--that would
help calm her agitation. Like anything with our LO's, it will take time and
patience--and a great caregiver--but once it works into a routine, it may
help tremendously. It has (so far ) for my Daddy.
Good Luck, Linda!
Carol

Carol-

Thank You for the wonderful suggestion of adding a caregiver to the evening hours. I will contact an agency and see what they have available.
I wish I also had that magic wand to just zap alz completely away from everyone. This is a cruel cruel disease.

Thank you Carol.

Linda

I wish you luck, Linda.
Be sure to ask for a caregiver who has experience with dementia
patients, and don't be shy about checking up on them often (how's
it going, got any questions?, ....), especially during the early period.
In fact, when you're talking to the Agency, they should be willing to
change caregivers easily if one is not working out.
God Bless!
Carol

How's it going, Linda?
Any luck?
Been thinking about you...
Carol

Carol-

I had to take a slight break from all the post. I am back now. Work and the constant worry about my aunt just got to me.

I did get a lady to stop in and sit with aunt for a few hours in the evening for the last 2 weeks or so and that didn't seem to help any at all if not worse. So back to square one.
I really don't think there is going to be an answer just a long bumpy road.

Thanks for asking.

I will be reading more post.

Linda