I find myself looking back over the dementia years, the coming together and splitting apart of family ties, the choas and the worry and the wondering what would be next. I realize that even with the distance of five years there are still things left to sort and things that will not fit into any place that will ever make sense. Some who were a formidable force became helpless. Some who were helpless stepped up. Some who were bigger than life faded away. Some who had a future made the choice to end it.
I remember my mother's button box, an old mint candy tin. When I was a child I would spend hours sorting through the hundreds of buttons looking for matching sets, only to be distracted by a stunning unique button that didn't look like it would have ever been on anything we had worn. The buttons didn't fit into any real pattern or system. They just were what they were. As was our three years of living in the upside down world of Alzheimer's.

That's so poignant, Deb.
Thank you.
Carol
P.S. I started your book, and it is great, but life has
"stepped up" lately and I had to put it down for a
while. Will be taking a long bus trip next weekend,
though, and "you" are coming with me!
Carol

This brought back memories. When I was young I had this sewing box. When I left home I gave it to mom. Well I got it back when she passed and inside it was a box full of buttons, some still on the cardboard from when she bought them. I wonder what she planned on doing with all those buttons? Guess they were all for "just in case". Her way of planning for the future.

Don't worry Carol, it took me about Eight Months to make it through Deb's book! Not because I read so slow, it was just so close to home, and the first book I'd read on this subject. It was too painful, and I had to put it down quite often. I think Deb even warned me about this?

Yes, very discriptive, and heart-felt. I like the button analogy too! Deb, you certainly have a way with words! I guess that is why you are a published, and respected Author! Dauh!

I'll pack a bag for the bus trip Carol.
When you read a book about something which is a part of your day to day life you find yourself blinking in disbelief that someone else has had the same experience. It was like that for me when I read my the first book about Alzheimer's and the same when I have read about other health topics. Take it slowly. You can always go back to it when you are ready.

Whew--Deb, that was hard, but very good.
Thank you for sharing your words, your experience, and your wisdom
with the world. The section on family dynamics hit really, really close
to home (as in "ouch!"). What a wonderful man your Daddy was,
and how blessed he, Frank, and Shirley are to be memorialized in
your book. Thank you thank you thank you for this and your
many contributions to caregivers since.
With Great Respect,
Carol