Hello to All,
Thought I'd update you on my Daddy's progress today. He had two great appointments with his doctors--primary care and neurologist. I had spoken to each of them ahead of time about Daddy's unpredictable--often belligerant--behavior at his ALF and his desire to leave sometimes. I was well advised to get my ducks in a row in case this brewed into a crisis. Although I have durable POA, that only allows me to act on his behalf with financial and personal business matters. If he really, really, really wanted to leave that ALF and pushed to do so, they technically would have to let him. Guardianship involves a legal process whereby his rights will be taken away. Totally scary. I really had been putting the steps off. But I spoke to both doctors ahead of time, brought Daddy in today to see them, and they will have their letters for me in a couple of weeks. I'm not going to do anything about it right now, since things are actually going well with Daddy this week. But at least my ducks are getting in line, just in case. I don't want to dwell on the next step, since hopefully it won't be needed, but it would involve going before a judge with my evidence (including the doctors' letters), and Daddy would be allowed to be there, I suppose to present his case. Not an attractive prospect.
No need to respond. Just wanted to share, in case it helps someone else.
Be well, ducks and all!
Carol

Good Job Carol. I have heard from some people that having those letters was all they needed. Those letters alone should automatically invoke both the financial and medical POA. Hopefully you won't have to go beyond this.

Hi Lori,
Funny thing is, I never needed the letters to invoke the DPOA or the Medical POA--I just started using them, and they were accepted pretty much carte blanche. The exception is the banks and financial institutions, where they have their own forms that had to be signed by us both. But I've been handling Daddy's paperwork so long, that that part was easy--for us both.
The doctors' letters are for guardianship, should I have to pursue that, where they actually take away Daddy's rights, like deciding where to live and if to stay there. My understanding (which admittedly gets warped sometimes) is that when we went through a real bad spell with him at his ALF, and they were talking about him having to either move or go to the locked portion of the facility, I could not literally force him into there because he has every right to refuse to go. The only way would be to be his guardian.
Thank heavens things have calmed down, but I'm at least cognizant enough to know that a crisis can leap out at us at any moment. Now I have these letters "in my back pocket" should I need to react in this way.
Thanks for your response.
I hope you are hanging in there OK.
Many, many thoughts and prayers surround you, from all of the people who have been so incredibly touched by you and by your dear Helen.
God Bless.
Carol

Hi Lori...I have a question. My brother in law is durable POA for MIL, medical and financial. She is going nuts with credit card spending, and having to refinance paid off home because of this. Buying outlandish exercise junk and herb pills she isn't supposed to have etc. She also "smells" things like carbon monoxide (delusions), and has chimney liner replaced over and over at a cost of over $300 each time. She is being scammed on homeowners insurance because a home valued at approximately $40,000 in Missouri should not need to be insured for $150,000, causing her rates to be unreasonably high. Fake doctors send her "lessons" on health issues, and offer the needed herbs to remedy them...blah, blah. Brother in law recently put his name on her checking account. Who will be responsible for the debt her assets will not cover upon her death? There is no will that I am aware of, so will this go to probate? Will someone have to continue to pay mortgage and credit cards debts until settled? Our family is totally divided because brother in law refuses to act. She is still driving her car even though in the last 3 years or 4 she hits cars in parking lots and fences in her yard etc. I have already tried the DMV with calls and filing dangerous driver report, already spoke to her doc about it, spoke to police and highway patrol...all to no avail. She has delusions concerning homeless people sleeping in her car, and neighbors stealing her identity, and family members stealing from her etc. He refuses to take her to geriatric specialist or neuro person...claims there is nothing wrong with her, the diagnosis of dementia 4 years ago is wrong. The family cut off contact 9 months ago, are we safe from being sued if she harms someone, and also are we safe from financial responsibility from her debts?

It's hard to say as laws are different in every state. I don't think that YOU can be held libel financially but the POA can be investigated as to his handling or lack thereof regarding finances.

As for the driving. I hope you have documented that you have contacted the DMV, doctor and Police with the names of who you talked to and the dates. That should release you from liability but it's a scary situation. PLEASE try to find a way to disable or remove the car. A friend of mine's grand daughter was just hit in the crosswalk by a senior.

I was recently given guardianship over my mother, it was not something I sought to have, but it is a long story. The thing is I am told that it was to oversee her in her home for protective services. I am told in my state, Wi, that if I feel my mother needs to be in a facility, AL or NH, I need to go to court in order to do that as long as she protests that arrangement. If she would go willingly, then I would not have to go to court.