I know that people with AD no longer have any concept of logic. When do we as caregivers remember that? Mom said last night that there were people in her bedroom and I said "no Mom, it's just you and me here. Has been all day" Her reply was "No, that's not true there were people here off and on all day."

I guess I keep hoping that there is just a tiny shred of logic left in her brain. It sounds to me like "Denial" is my middle name.

Thanks for listening.

When Bill gets insistant that other people have been here, I tell him that they must have left before I got a chance to see them. That way I don't disagree with him but I'm not even telling a fiblet. We go through this quite often with his mother being here. "I didn't see her" or "I haven't seen her for quite a while: Both true because she died in 1980.

Many times Bill refers to himself as that other guy. One morning I got up to find him naked in bed and when I ask him why he took his clothes off, "It was that other guy did it". Who peed all over the bathroom? "That other guy". He also tells me about that other lady that was here. No one here but Him and me.

Jeri,
That seems to be my middle name also, so we're related. I took a short nap this afternoon, and when I got up, Mom was in the kitchen. She told me that my sister was there when I was sleeping, and she was wondering if she was coming back again. I looked at my husband, as he was home recuperating from a hospital stay, and said "why didn't you wake me up when my sister was here?" The poor guy didn't know what to say, as my sister had "not" been at my house today. So he just quickly said to Mom that she must have been thinking of my sister being there the other night, and changed the subject. And she still asked if he was sure.

At that point, I intervened, because I could see hubby just didn't know what to do. I told her that before I fell asleep on the couch, that she was sleeping on her recliner, and that she probably just woke up also, and maybe just had a dream about my sister. But what I didn't know is that while I was sleeping, her and my husband were having coffee. And of course, that she remembered.

At that point I could tell she was getting very agitated and and then just told me not to pay any attention to her, as she was probably going crazy. I didn't respond and it was soon forgotten. I still have not learned the art of changing the conversation, or agreeing with her. I hate to agree with something like that.

Eventually, we'll learn the right way, but I guess we just have to have more experience and keep listening to all on this forum to find the best way. It's so very hard, but know that it's not just you. Got a feeling "Denial" will always be our middle name.

Jackie

You don't have to agree Jackie. Just tell them that you didn't see them and they must have left before you could .

It would be so nice if we got all the answers when we got the job of caregiver. An answer sheet would be good. Guess the problem with that is it would be multiple choice answers and the same answer wouldn't be right for everyone. This is a learn as you go job.

Joyce,
Thank you as always for the good advice. I should start printing this stuff out and then at least I would have somewhat of an answer sheet. Because you're right about multiple choice. A through D would not be enough with this disease. They'd have to have the whole darn alphabet huh?

Wishing you a very "good" nights sleep tonight. Hope all goes well!

Jackie

Hey, cousin Jeri,

Ain't denial grand! It is definitely hard straddlling the fence all the time between the "real" world and the "AD" world. When I would hear others trying to reason with Mother sometimes, I would just laugh to myself at how silly they sounded and how Mother would just ignore them. Then when I would hear me doing the same thing, I would just laugh at me at how silly I sounded, but Mother didn't always ignore me.

I have no doubt God personally picked each caregiver and blessed every one with large doses of special love, strength, patience, understanding, humor,
laughter, and a way to use our tears to cleanse the day so tomorrow will be as fresh and new as the early morning dew.

Keep hanging, cuz, you will continue to do just fine.

Love to you,

Joyce