I am having one of those days. There is no special reason for it but today just sucks. I turned to say something to Helen, which is not unusual but this time, I just broke down in tears. I miss her so much today. Glad there is Vodka in the house. I don't think I have had a day like this since she died. Just can't stand this!!!!!

Lori,

Gentle ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) dear friend. Their is no time limit on our grief, and many times no explanation for it's sudden reappearance. Let yourself feel and remember, and know that we are here for you.

Wish I was there to cry with you. You know I would. My heart breaks for you and I know how badly you miss her. I wish I could make the pain go away. Sending you hugs from over here until I can actually give you them myself in April. ((((Lori)))) Love you sweetie.

Oh Lori,
It's ok my friend. You cry and do what you have to do. Our shoulders here are quite large, so we'll try to help you through this. Imagine all of our arms are wrapped around you so very tight. We won't let go until you tell us to.

Love,
Jackie

joining in on the group (((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))), dearie.
carol

Sweet Lori:
I feel your pain and sadness. How I wish I had the perfect words of comfort for you. Grief is such a hard job and yet it is one thing we can't skip over or hurry through. Each one of us will deal with our grief our own way in our own time.
I'm sure you already know not to run from it or try to hold it in....when the hurt comes let it out...crying is a way of releasing the tension....screaming out loud can be cathartic also.
It is strange how some days are worse than others; feelings and remembrances spring up with no rhyme or reason.
My mother died on Feb. 4th and some days I seem to be coping well and then all of a sudden I feel so overwhelmed I can't stop the tears.
Please know that arms are around you.

Louise

I'm sorry.

Today is just a tough day-I finally donated mom & dad's car. Thank goodness I was not here when they came to take it away. I had to meet with the group that I signed the title over to and that was hard enough-just handing them the keys to the car seemed so final to me.

Mom's birthday in March 19th so I think I am just going to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed the whole day instead of facing the world.

Pat

Dear Pat,
It's amazing how much a car can take on a life of its own,
or rather the life of its owner.
((((Major Hugs)))) to you, sweetie--
Carol

Pat:
I certainly understand what you are saying. My Mother has been gone for a month and 3 days.....I feel like I'm never going to be in control of my feelings ever again,
I don't blame you for your emotions regarding the car...how awful for you.

Love and understanding,
Louise

Pat it's been ten years since my mother died and all I can say is that it gets easier. You won't forget her and there will be times when you will think "I have to call Mom" only to remember she's not there to call.
It's the days that I feel the lowest that I really miss her the most. But there are good moments that I want to just call and tell her the good news. A movie on TV, something someone told me, or even when I cook something for dinner that I know she liked will make me feel like I need to call her.
As time passes, although you still know how they were at the end, it's the good and happy times that you really remember.

I'm having problems of being alone in the condo. I hardly ever go to the upper level other than to fix a meal and eat or if I have to do laundry. The entire house is dirty and the memorial is on the 22nd of March. Relatives will be arriving, starting on Thursday, and the last of them leave on Monday.

I just can't get myself motivated to do any major cleaning in this place. I start on anything of Old Navy's and I get so sad that I have to leave the condo!

Right now, I'm asking everyone for referrals to do cleaning jobs just so that I don't have to be in the condo alone during the day.

I know I haven't fallen apart nearly as bad as I did when my grandfather passed away (I was 18), but I feel my anxiety attacks are coming back. I don't want to drug myself, but at times, it's so overwhelming that I have to. Just enough so that I can function and get things done.

I know grief can take over a year for some people to get through. I know that from my experience with Grandpa's death that I will survive this and that life will go on. I just wish I had someone who could just be here in the flesh to help me and hug me when DH isn't able to be here.

Debra,

I am without a car and unable to get to you, but I'm sending you ((((((((((((((((gentle hugs))))))))))))))))).

I do know how you feel and this is just something you need to endure. You can't rush it, you really can't put it off. All you can do is get through it, a day at a time, an hour at a time.

You will manage to prepare the condo for visitors, but don't worry about "deep-cleaning" right now. You aren't getting ready for a House Beautiful photo shoot. The family can just be grateful for a "free"place to stay.

If you need a little chemical help right now, please use it. You can always stop taking it after the Memorial and everyone has gone home again. Just do what you need to do to get through this time. And you will get through.

I am home all day, every day. Please call me if you want to talk. I'll PM my phone number.

Love and hugs........................Karen

Oh Deb, this grief is so new to you. Don't worry about cleaning anything. I'm sure everyone will understand and if they don't, who cares. i agree with Karen, do whatever you need to do to get through this. Wish I could be there.

(((((((hugs))))))) & *****prayers***** for my hero, Debra.
you will get through it, yes, but the hard part is the
actual get-ting-thru-it. I do not minimalize it one bit.
Please, take it as easy on yourself as you possibly can.
Love,
Carol