I was forced to quit my job this past January, due to the amount of time I was having to take off in taking my FIL to dr appts or due to illness with either of us.

However, it has put a major dent in our finances. We were already experiencing financial difficulties before we moved in with FIL. In compensation for caring for FIL, we do not have to pay the rent or phone bills. We pay for the cable bill, as it is for both the tv and our computers. We're responsible for any bills that we incur.

However, with the prospect of FIL being moved permanently to SCU, it means that the FIL's condo has to be sold and we'll be out on the streets.

I've found a small pt job as a house cleaner for a handicapped lady, but it won't be enough to get us caught up! I know I should look for a FT position somewhere, but emotionally, I do not believe that I can handle the stress in balancing work, home and FIL.

How does everyone else 'keep it together' when their world seems to be crashing down upon their heads?

Deb,

My mantra (ps 96:17-19) is my guide. I am where you are...except I have 2 jobs already. When MIL dies, we will have to sell her house...and assume the rest of the mortgage becasue it will not bring in the amount it is mortgaged for.

I rely on God...take a deep breathe, put one foot in front of the other, and realize that he's not going to take me any further than he knows I can handle...and knowing he is guiding me in love makes it bearable...not always enjoyable...but bearable.

Dear Debra,
I'm sorry about the position you all find yourselves in.
I wish I had a magic wand or some brilliant answers, but I
don't. All I have is my own experience, which has been greatly
assisted by luck and, I firmly believe, God's hand.
I started my own business a few years ago when life was handing
me some lemons. It is doing something that I am really good
and passionate about--helping people with everything from
errandrunning to personal business assistance. Helping my
Daddy over the years as his situation deteriorated, as well
as helping a friend with MS, were contributing factors in
coming up with the idea. I was sitting there, writing checks
for my friend and thinking, "hey, you should be able to get
paid for doing this, like a job or something!" I found some
local agencies who did this kind of work, knocked on doors
until one of them hired me, then went out on my own when
circumstances changed a couple of years later.
Sorry to go on and on. I guess what I would offer to you is
that you have a wealth of experience and a passion about
something. Seek a position out in that field or maybe you
all could venture out right away into doing your own
business. I wish you luck, and God's grace and guidance!
Carol

I wish I had an answer for you. I too left a very good job to be a caregiver. If I had ever had to place Helen I would have been in the same situation that you are in.

"The Lord will make a way fo you where no foot has been before. That which, like a sea threatens to drown you, shall be a highway for your relief" Charles H. Spurgeon

I also do not have a brilliant answer for you Debra. Just want to say that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. This is a very difficult situation, but one I have not had to address YET. Blessings.

Try not to worry too far ahead. There are so many unknowns with the illness, the economy, etc. One day at a time and lean on us. We will help in every way we can think of.

Dear Debra,
I too did the same and all I can say is that you do get through, albeit with difficulty sometimes, but you will get through. Something (and I truly believe this) will point you in the right direction and keep you on the right path.

Bless you my dear - and my thoughts and prayers remain with all of you.

I was given a mandatory layoff from my last formal job (hosp), but the timing was perfect. My parents needed 24/7 care. I was compensated so felt no stress about not having a "regular" job outside the home. HOWEVER, once Mom passed on I was not making money to keep us afloat. I wanted to go back to work, but just weeks after Mom's death DH was diagnosed with AD. Now 2 years later its harder and harder to imagine people will want to hire me after being out of nursing for a few years. (almost 4 years now, and no telling how much longer I'll have DH to care for). I admit that I'm scared about my future.

Dear Srndpty,
OK, this is TOTALLY off the wall and probably not
practical in the least, but here goes.
Is there any way that you could hire on with a local
caregiving agency (you have all the credentials and more)
to be a caregiver, through them, to your DH?
You would be paying them a cut, certainly, but you
would also then be earning a salary and paying towards
social security for yourself. I don't even know if this
would be feasable--might be called a conflict of interest.
But it seems like it may be worth investigating a little?
Carol

Carol,

It's so funny that you said that. It crossed my mind, and also my sister wondered the same thing. I have worked for agencies before, and there is almost always a strong policy against caring for family members through the agencies employ. I know also when I worked in the acute care setting, 3 different hospitals all had the same policy.

I left a job as a cook to help with Mom. After she died, Dad asked me to stay on and help around the house. Now he is gone and we are really hurting for $$. I am supposed to start classes in the spring but I need to work or we won't make the bills. There is my inheritance money but who knows when I will get that as we are having trouble just getting my dad's death certificates.

A lot of barriers right now and with the holidays coming, it doesn't make it any easier. I know we will get through but it's very hard. My job at the golf course will be coming to an end as well with the weather getting cooler.

The fallout from caregiving is tremendous at times.

Well, OK, this is really wierd, but it seems like the
only solution is to just all move in together (LO's and all)
and form our own "village" where we can take care of
each other and each other's LO's and each exercize our
area of expertise to help the other and each accept
assistance from others gracefully... You know, Diana
can be our nurse... Snick can cook... I'm good with
paperwork and just plain ole bein' bossy (hmmm, might
have some competition, there )...
Kinda like the old days, when families grew and stayed
near each other and knew and helped each other,
each according to their strengths and their needs.
I guess we are paying for the fact that those days are
long gone.
We have our little "cyber village" here, but I'm frustrated
that it can only go so far. I wish there was a more
concrete way to help some of us when we hit
crisis mode.
Oh well, just thinking out loud.
Meanwhile, I shall keep you guys in my prayers!
Carol

There are enough of us maybe we could even apply for statehood!!!!!!

I agree it would be nice if we could all live close enough to each other to help out.. in a place that has a decent climate.. LOL

A decent climate......

With palm trees....
mojitos......
massages......
pool boys...

Wait, that was the bash we had this summer!

Yes, I agree, it would be nice to be closer. Or have an obscene amount of money so we could travel or at least help those who are in crisis.

Count me in. I gave up my job and retired early29.5 yrs, yes almost 30 years but not quite- to take care of my mom too. Now I have to go back to work in a another state. They are even remotely excited that I am here.
Here's my mini resume:
Special Education Teacher EDLD /DEAF K-12
Sign Language
Floral Designer
Special Qualities:
Easy to work with: Don't care if coworkers whine, drink. smoke, or are otherwise actually normal considering what we deal with.
Reference:
Jack Schitt