I know it has been a long time since I posted but wanted to update everyone on what has been going on here.

It has been three months today since FT passed away. QM was in the hospital Nov 19-21 and Jan 6-Feb 4. Needless to say things have been crazy around here. Along with all of her other health problems we are now dealing with end stage kidney failure. I was hoping that I would have a little break after FT's passing but I guess it is not in the cards. We just had a hospital bed and wheelchair delivered about an hour ago. Also we will be having home health here three times a week for PT, OT and baths.

The good news is she is in very good spirits about the dialysis. She is taking it better than I am. She is on a very restricted low sodium, high protein, diabetic diet. I have been spending all of my time trying to find out what she is able to eat. So far it is only oatmeal, eggs, chicken, and a few veggies. I will be talking to the dietitician either Saturday or Tuesday so I can learn about all of the restrictions.

I miss you all and have thought about you often. I will try to get back soon but I am not sure when. I just wanted all of our friends (QM & Vicki) to know what is going on.


UPDATE

Shortly after I posted this message QM fell trying to get into bed. She is back in the hospital. At first they thought she might have a broken hip, elbow and ribs. After 7 hours in the ER and many tests she was admitted to the Ortho floor. The really good news is she does not have any broken bones. The bad news is that they are trying to get me to admit her to a nursing home. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!

Our goal is to have dialysis Monday and Tuesday at the hospital and then come home Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday we will have home health at the house and go to her regular dialysis on Thursday. Please cross your fingers and help me hope that we meet our goal.

Update # 2... Feb 12th

QM made the decision today to stop dyalisis and go on hospice. With dialysis they were saying she had 6 weeks to 6 months if she went to a long term facility with a dialysis center. Without dialysis it will just be days to a couple weeks but she will be home and in her own room. I will be using the same hospice that we used for FT.



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Update #3 3-5-09

I woke up this moring at 2AM with QM thinking she needed to throw up. She could not even keep water down. I have two different pills that are for this but you need to be able to keep them down to have them work. From 2AM till 10:30 all I heard was "help me","Help! Help! Help! and QM's dry heaving.I called hospice and they sent out some rectal medication. When I talked to them they did suggest a dose of morphine to help settle her down til the other meds arrived. It helped for about 5 minutes. Thank Goodness the new medication worked in about 20 minutes. She has been sleeping most of the afternoon.

Hospice was going to have a hoyer lift delivered today but we delayed the delivery till tomorrow. There was no way they would be able to demonstrate how to use it with QM in the shape she was in. The hospice nurse/director was here this afternoon to check on QM. The qood news is no fever. The bad news is that her heart rate is up to 140, her BP is down to 100/70 and there is a bug going around at the nursing homes that the CNA's have been at. Boy, I sure hope they did not bring this bug to our house.

Today is the 4 month mark on FT's passing so I have had him on my mind a lot today. I have been doing fairly well with everything until this last weekend when my niece said her final good bye to QM. I was OK until I was at my therapist's office then I lost it. I think it is the first time that everything really hit me like that.

Well I guess I better close down this update before I start blubbering again. Please know that I am missing all of you and thinking about you often.
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Vicki,
Welcome home.
I have thought about you so often and wondered how you were doing.
I'm sorry QM isn't doing well, but as long as she is in good spirits that's good.

I would hate having to watch what I cooked or ate. Having to learn how to obey all the restrictions would be torture to me.

Don't be a stranger.

I'm so glad to see you visiting us again. We have missed you.
I'm sorry for all the problems that QM is having. I thought things would settle down for you now but guess not. Please don't be such a stranger.

VICKI!!!!!!!

Thanks for the update! Been thinking of you lots!!! Sounds like you have your hands full! Are you able to have some breathing room for just you at any time? Let me know how you are doing...think of you often!

xxoo
karen

Vicky,

It's so very good to hear from you. Sorry that QM is going through a difficult time. And then of all things for her to fall. Gosh, what else with our loved ones? I often wonder how much more they can take when so much is already given to them. Doesn't seem fair does it?

So glad to hear there were no broken bones. Thats one of my biggest fears with Mom. I can handle just about anything, but a broken bone would not be easy for either one of us.

And you listen to what you feel is the best to do for her, not a hospital or a doctor. We all know when the time may or may not be right for a nursing home, not a stranger. Do the best you can, but make sure if things get difficult you at least get some help. That's the only thing that's saving me is that I do have help a few days a week.

Keep us updated Vicki and come back and join us when you can. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. My best to you and talk to you soon,

Jackie

Vicki:

Keeping you in my throughts and prayers that everything will work out! How are YOU holding up? You remembering yourself? Hopefully you are able to get some breather in there....take care!!! think of you often!!!

xxoo
karen

Dear Vicki,
You are such a GOOD EGG!!!! I will say a prayer for QM, too.

Hi Vicki!

I'm so sorry to learn how things are going with QM. Do please keep in mind that you need some help around the house with QM... if only so that you can get some much needed rest.

We kept Old Navy home, but we were in the process of applying for in home help when he fell and and then died from the complications.

Keep us posted and we'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

[font=Century Gothic] [/font] vicki: Hope things are going good...keep checking in to see how things are going for you and QM....take care

xxoo
karen

We came home from the hospital last night around 6:30. About 7PM tonight the paramedics took her back to the hospital.

I am so tired that I could not even go back to the hospital tonight. She was throwing up all day and complaining of pain in her belly. I tried to get her to eat some applesauce but she said she could not swallow it.

Vicki,

Do they have any idea what is going on?

I hope you get some needed rest tonight. This has got to be exhausting for you.

Prayers for both of you.

She now has ESRD (kidney failure) brought on by one of her heart valve replacements failing, liver damage caused by all of her meds and diabetes. The fact that she lost a lot of her lymph nodes when she had breast cancer has not helped either.

I could not go to the hospital tonight because I am exhausted from spending the last five days at the hospital with her and the constant throwing up all day.

I am sure with this return trip to the hospital they are going to tell her that she either goes to a rehab nursing home or stops dialysis. If she stops dialysis she might last two weeks.

I already know that if she goes off dialysis she is qualified for hospice and I will bring her home to die.

Making that 911 call tonight was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I never expected this to happen this fast after FT's passing. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for about 12 hours.

Sometimes crying is the only thing that helps.
I've heard a lot of times that when a couple have been together a long time that when one of them goes the other one seems to say I want to go too.
That doesn't make it any easier for the ones that are left behind. But maybe that is the selfish part of us.
I'm glad you decided to stay home and get some rest last night. You take care of Vicki and let God take care of QM now. He will watch over her. I'm sure FT is watching her, also.
; Keep us up to date on how things are going and we are all praying for you and QM at this time.

You're in my prayers, Vickie. God is watching over both of you.

I wish I knew what to say to ease your pain. My heart just breaks for you.