I'm sitting here in front of the computer going from email to the forum and back to email again. I don't know why because there isn't much going on either place. Trying to forget I guess.

I just got home from church and believe it or not, going to church is the hardest thing for me to do. In all the years Bill and I were married, I could probably count on one hand the number of times he wasn't right there next to me. I don't know if it's because he isn't there or if it's because I feel closer to him there. Then it didn't help that the communion song today was His favorite song and one that I made sure was sung at the funeral. People probably thought I was very reverent sitting there with my head bowed, but if I had looked up they would have seen the tears flowing down my face. Just like they are doing right now. It's a good thing I still remember how to type from my high school days, because I sure can't see the keys through these tears. Guess I'd better find something to do today.

Yesterday I went to Frankenmuth with my middle daughter and her husband and oldest daughter. For the people who have no idea where Frankenmuth is or what it is, it's a small town in Mi. that has fabulouse chicken dinners and probably one of the largest Christmas stores in the country. Ornaments and decorations everywhere you look. I did fine there for the most part. Bill and I went there often and our christmas tree was decorated in ornaments we bought there over the years. There was a couple of times I had to walk away from the kids. One time was when I saw an ornament that read: YOU WILL MISS ME BUT I WILL BE SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS THIS YEAR. I went back to that section several times to read it again. Here it is only May and I'm already thinking Christmas. Must be the weather today. The sun is shining but it is only in the 40's.

I'm waiting for pictures from Jackie, Kelly, Ann and SamesU to complete squares for them. That's what I can do today. Go to the store and buy material for their squares. I'm also making one for Bill's mother. If these all come in this week, I'll have enough squares for two more quilts.
Off to the store I go.

I feel better already.

I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough morning. It seems that music often brings out the strongest emotions.

I'm glad you are heading to the store. Go ahead and start cutting that material for those squares. That will keep you busy for quite awhile. Sometimes diversion is the best we can do.

That's what I plan on doing Lori. I just got back home with enough material to make a square for everyone here.
Don't let this material go to waste, people.

Oh Sweetie, I just read this. I think Church is hard, because it softens the heart, perhaps, and we feel safe there. I don't now, sometimes, it makes me want to weep, even if no one has died. I know this last Christmas Eve was tough, since my Dad died, just a few weeks before. And Lori, you are right, it is ALWAYS the music, that does me in.

I know you will be O.K. because you are grieving, you are going through the feelings, and you are talking about it. I also know it stinks! And hurts like hell!

The Quilt Project will help. It is nice to have something to show, for all your hard work, for a change. This disease is so thankless, and never ends well. Thank-You for taking over the Quilt Project. You are doing an amazing job! *Swish* *Swish* my pom-poms swishing!

I'm sorry you had a bad morning. I can' t imagine what it must be to lose a spouse, but I remember how after my father died (and still now) sometimes things just came out of nowhere and were like a knife in the heart...something familiar just jolts you, transports you instantly to a memory and the crash of that memory into the reality of them not being with you being pretty painful. A big hug to you this morning (a whole bunch of them in fact).