After a very long absence I’m now back in the caregiving role with my grandmother Laurette. I work for a band that tours internationally so I’ve been gone for nearly two months in Europe. I started being absent from the AD boards about a month before that because I was preparing my business and social life for a long absence, so I haven’t been around here for 3 months or more! Although it was business travel and not vacation it was still REALLY nice to be away from AD for a long period of time. I confess I didn’t miss it one bit. I’ll try to catch up on the posts but there’s really no way to read everything.

I highly recommend to ALL of you an extended break if you can get somebody to take over for you. My parents had to move into our house and sleep in my bedroom while I was gone. They were living between two houses for a couple of months and couldn’t wait for me to return. However, they did it more or less willingly and will do so again as I continue to tour with the band. If you can find ANYBODY to cover for you, even if you have to guilt trip them into doing so, I recommend it. Time away is SO valuable.

BUT: Re-entry is difficult too. Either I’m acting differently, or Laurette isn’t used to me yet, or she’s gotten a lot more moody since I left. Since I got back I bought a new mattress, painted my room, and cleaned everything in my room really thoroughly. All day today Laurette was thrilled because I was HOME and buying a mattress and painting means that I’m going to STAY. She was in a great mood.

Tonight I didn’t keep an eye on her while she was watching TV and she turned off every light downstairs so that she was sitting in the pitch black. As I helped her get ready for bed she was very agitated, refused my help in every way, wouldn’t speak to me, and generally acted like I was being a jerk to her. Every gentle suggestion was a slap in the face and every offer to help was flatly refused. As she got into bed she said something about how I couldn’t wait for her to be gone so I could have the house, something totally uncharacteristic and brand new. I’m not even in the will, but that’s beside the point. She’s never testy like that and generally never thinks ill of anybody.

So, I’ve learned three lessons. First, full time caregivers really need REAL breaks, not just afternoons off. Second, caregivers really need to prepare mentally to return to work. It’s hard work and coming home isn’t as relaxing and comforting for us as it is for most people. Third, LIGHT, LIGHT, LIGHT! The darkness tonight obviously caused a lot of conflict and agitation.

Luckily, she won’t remember!

Take a deep breath. Groundhog’s day begins again tomorrow...

Welcome back, Jezza! I'm so happy for you that you were
able to work this wonderful experience into your life and
that Laurette was still well-cared for. Hopefully she'll settle
down for you as she quickly gets used to your presence
and your help. You are such a sweet soul, and she is
blessed to have you.
Carol

A big welcome back to you Jezza!! So glad it was a good time off for you and that you are all the better for it. It must be hard coming back into the caregiving role, I can't imagine, except we might be doing the same soon. I was watching Rick Steeve's in Europe this morning while getting ready for church and just sat down to enjoy the beauty of the English countryside. I do hope you got to relax and enjoy the sights there. Such beauty and history. What was your favorite place?

Again, welcome back and hope things smooth out with your grandmother.

P.S. My son is getting married on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, just thought you should know!

~Kelly~

Glad to see you're back Jezza!

Kat

Welcome back Jezza, sounds like you had a great experience abroad.

Welcome home Jezza,

I haven't been here much since April, but I have missed seeing you on the times I was here.

I certainly agree about getting away from AD for awhile. I haven't had a three month break but I have taken advantage of the 5 day respite break. I pick Bill up tomorrow from one of these breaks tomorrow. It might sound cruel , but I'm really not looking forward to starting over with 24 hour care again. He is usually pretty good when he gets back home but it is still a lot of work.

Grandma will get use to you pretty quickly, I bet. Right now she might just be afraid you will leave her. I know Bill will start to cry when he thinks I'm going somewhere, He always wants me to be right there for him. Guess I'm his security blanket.

Where did you go in Europe? What did you get to see, or were you working all the time?

Welcome Home Jezza!

So true about the respite - unfortunatley we can only do it in small doses, but tht's better than nothing.

Peace
Eileen

Welcome back, Jezza!

It IS difficult to get back into the 24/7 caretaker mode if you've been lucky enough to be gone for more than a week. It'll take you both a while to get back into a regular routine. Just take it one day at a time.

Meantime, I do pray that Grandma settles down and accepts that you're not leaving her any time soon!

Welcome home Jezza!

Glad you had some time away from Laurette, especially for the young age you are. You so deserve to have that, and I'm hoping that will come more often for you. Although time away is good, us older folks would take 1 or 2 days, and be happy with that. Don't think I could handle even being away from home that long. Guess that makes me a homebody huh? But again, sure glad at your age you take that time away. It's very important.

I've hired a lady twice a week to stay with Mom. Her name is Laura, and she's my "Granny Nanny"!! So on tuesdays and thursdays I can now get out and do something for me. And would you believe Mom loves her!!?? I tell everyone that I think Mom may want to adopt Laura as her own. I come home from places and I catch them giggling and talking. And when Laura leaves, Mom says that Laura is the only one that talks to her and makes her laugh. First time she said that was like a punch in the stomach. Now I look forward to her telling me that, as I know she's happy and content when Laura is here.

Oh and Mom has started saying that also about being gone, that I just can't wait as then she won't be any trouble to me anymore. So I'm figuring its just another stage or phase she's going through. It stops for a few days, and then restarts, so I guess its just part of the AD nightmare!

Happy your home safe and sound. And laurette will adjust again. We're here of course when you need us.

Jackie