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 Post subject: The end is approaching for FIL
PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 5:39 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:37 pm
Posts: 22
Location: north central florida
Highscores: 1
In the last couple of weeks my FIL has been declining rapidly. All of the sudden he's having problems swallowing, having trouble keeping himself upright, unable to get in or out of bed by himself, walking, etc.

We've had hospice coming in since the end of February and they've been wonderful. They've told us that he probably only has a few months at the most.

We're bringing in a hospital bed and he will most probably be bedridden from then on since he's having a hard time walking. Up until a few weeks ago, he was up and about by himself.

I know the inevitable, but it's still so hard to watch. The really hard part is that MIL also has AZ. She's in the early stages, but we're seeing a decline in her as well and it's so hard for her to remember or understand some of the things FIL is going through.

We've had it relatively easy with FIL--he's been so easy to care for. MIL, on the other hand, is going to be a handful. She's going through the denial stage. One minute she'll tell you she has AZ and the next you're holding her against her will, stealing from her, etc and she's leaving on the next bus or she's going to call the police!! (can't use the phone--won't happen!) Oh yeah, and everyone is crazy except her!

I don't really have a question, just needed to let the feelings go and you lucky people are it!! I'm so glad I found this place and although I don't chat too much, I've followed many of your travels with this DD and have learned alot and always feel better when I have a rough day and know that I'm not the only one out there dealing with this even when I feel like I am.

Thanks everyone for being there.


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PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:02 pm
Posts: 857
Location: Indio, CA
I'm so sorry for the decline in FIL. As hard as it is to go watch our loved ones going through this disease, I think the end stage is just the most gut wrenching emotional part. We see it coming but can never truly be prepared.

Be prepared that you MIL may go through a rapid decline when FIL passes. It sounds like you already have your hands full with her. It still baffles me how each AD patient is so different.

Come let out your feelings here anytime. That's what we are here for.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 11:12 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:19 am
Posts: 76
Hi Sherri, I'm sorry to read about your FIL. It sounds like you are managing okay with hospice but I know it is such a hard time. I went through this with my dad and when he passed away we saw quite a decline with my mom. I'm so sorry that you are going to go through this again with your MIL. I hope it will be easier than you expect.
I will be keeping you in my prayers.
northernlights

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Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 4:36 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:37 pm
Posts: 22
Location: north central florida
Highscores: 1
Thanks for your replies.

Yes, I think MIL will decline some when he passes. She's been in tears today because she has finally got it that the end is near. Some guilt on her part because she hasn't always been nice to him when he wouldn't (couldn't) do something that she wanted him to. She's also upset because he won't talk to her even though I've explained that he can't.

It doesn't help that he will often respond to me with a smile or chuckle , but doesn't with her.

We're hanging in....extremely sad, but looking for the end of FIL's suffering. If he understood what was going on, he would be so heartbroken that his life had been reduced to this.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 10:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:05 am
Posts: 1012
Location: Montana
Oh Gosh Sherri, how awful. Two at once, I guess that will be what's it's like, if my Mom, or her Husband become bedridden. Do they live with you & Hubby? Anyway, what a tropper you have been, and please come and tell us how you are doing, anytime. :cry:

P.S. Is DD "The Damned Disease?" if it isn't, it should be!

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"Faith is an oasis in the heart, which can never be reached by the caravan of thinking."

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~Kahil Gibran~ "SKY"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2009 2:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:15 pm
Posts: 444
Location: Waterford MI
Sherri, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know you have to be beside yourself, having 2 people in different stages at the same time. I'll be thinking of you.....

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Judy, caregiver to my mom, Joan


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