Watch full screen, and turn up your volume. This is the horrible truth. This is where I just got back from. This is where I spent my Birthday, because I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, than to be with my Mamma! This is what makes me cry-alone, and in the dark. This is what I have my entire church family prayng for. For me to be able to endure this heart-break, and for a miracle, because that is what this will take.

I only broke down once. I was talking with Mother's 'new' Fiduciary Accountant, and she made it VERY clear, that she was not one bit interested, in my Mother's welfare. Her ONLY reponsibility was to handle ALL of my Mother's money??!!?? She had no interest in seeing this video, or taking to me, at all, about anything.

I lost it, but not in front of my Mom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brAJaMRiFtQ

I'm so sorry, Nancy. I wish I had some
solution for you and your Mom, but I don't.
How did you Mom look to you? Is Tom able
to feed her well enough? Do they actually
bathe in that tub? Is it possible for you and
your sibs to somehow pool some funds and get
a repairman in there for the tub?
Keeping you and your Mom in my prayers--
Carol

Thank You Carol. Mom's weight is fine, I weighed her, and could just tell, how her new clothes fit. (he will not let her wear any of what I bought her, either???) I think her husband is 'shaming' her weight gain though. (I am thrilled, she used to weight 109, and now 125-130) You could 'see' the bottom of her cereal bowl, so little cereal in it, and when I made it for her, she looked sheepishly at Tom, and said "Oh, this is TOO much!" and took a few bites out, and put them in a plastic bag! Or because he is so friggin' cheap!

That Shower/Tub does not work. It will require a mold specialist to come out, and remove it professionally. Last professional I talked to, said it could cost 1/2 a million dollars!!?? They just need to tear that house down, and believe it or not, it is worth 1 1/2 Million, just because of the location. (The Lot!)

I looked at a GORGEOUS Assited Living facility, right in the same town, where they live. I think they could actually afford it, even though it is the best in the country. "The Hyatt Residency" www.hyattclassic.com I think. But you can't make' him do anything. He has O.C.D. but will never be diagnosed, too old.

I have my entire Church Family praying hard, for a resolution for this, for my Mom. It WILL take a miracle.

Nancy:

OMG-how horrible-I so wish there was something I could say-there just has to be someone somewhere that will help you get your mom out of that horrible place.

Hugs dear friend-and keep fighting for both you & your mom.

Pat

Thank You Pat. Your support is so important for "ME!" Mom is fine, (she is happy, and thinks everything is just peachy!) this is her new 'norm' and only you guys would understannd this.

My heart's desire is to get the two of them into a beautiful assisted living facility (see above) and "HE" can afford it, although you would never know it, by looking at the way he lives...UGGGG!!!

I may be going to the Democratic Convention in August. And the first person I talk with, that has any 'power' at all (even Obama) I will show this to them, and ask "Would you want this to be your Mamma?" With the laws as they are now, it could happen to anyone!

I am a true believer in the Power-Of-Prayer, so I appreciate them, so very much.

I am at least getting some 'real' sleep. I didn't sleep through the night, for 16 days, and only took two showers there, you can see why!

I watched the video. I couldn't believe how bad the black mold is. That definitly can't be good. We've battled it in our house and it's a scary thing.

I'm praying you can move your Mom and Tom into a assc. living home. If it wouldn't bother you, could I put out a prayer request for the situation on a prayer forum I visit?

Kat

Dear Nancy,
I watched it last night. The only blessing, is that she is oblivious to it all.
We do understand. I will add my prayers to your Family's.

Thank You Maebee, and Kat. Prayer lists? You bet! Your support? Priceless! My girlfriend had some sound advice, that I wait a few months, and then have an anonymous call put into their city police, or public health department, telling them that they have a sewage leak (I forgot to tell you, that is the most likely explaination for the horrible, rank, decaying, smell!) she says that it is definately a PUBLIC HEALTH issue, and they would get right on it!

The tricky part is, I must wait long enough from my visit, that they will not suspect me. I must not risk the 'rath' of Tom! I just got the sweetest post-card from him, calling me 'such a nice lady!' Boy, I should go to Hollywood!!!

nancy:
I do wish I could view what you saw...however...hubby put a lock on youtube... ---(since he repairs computers some of the customers got virus's from that site...I'm sure they were involved with certain materials....the ladies are heartbroken over that issue...they love youtube)

I do hope and pray that something happens for the good for your mom...it is amazing how far we have come yet how far we remain behind....I do keep you in my prayers...

xxoo
karen

People have put your mom and the situation on a prayer chain. How is the situation now?

Kat

Thank You Cat! We are on...many! Maybe that is why she hasn't gotten deathly ill, or died!~I have had some good advice. The smell in her bathroom, is most likely 'raw sewage' which "IS" a public healh threat. I just have to wait long enough before I call, or have somone call the public health department.

I have suggested to both of my Sisters, and her Private Nurse, that she needs 'companion care' at least three days a week. She is still wearing the same year-old-out-fit, and I must have bought her, what would equal, and entire new wardrobe! And she probably can not remember, where her drawer is (if it is still even there) where I put all of her 'clean' underware, washed and folded. Poor thing, just can't tell the difference between new or old, or clean or dirty. Breaks my heart.

I am still going to have quite the 'talk' with the big "O" man! Today I plowed my car into a dumpster, after working the campaign all day. I am over-tired, and over-extended, and know it. I start taking care of Nancy.....staring now!

Thanks for the update! It's important to care for yourself first so you can take care of others next. I can't remember who told me that or if I read it somewhere but it's something I try to remember.

Kat

BSG,

I tried to access your video but was unable (kept telling me it was a private video..... )

What has been described is horrible, cruel, and inhumane. I do hope and pray something can be done about this situation.

Be careful out there -- you're lucky you only tangled with a dumpster and not a semi

SKY,

At our previous house, we had a septic tank. When the tank got full, the smell would back up through our drains. This may be where the smell is coming from. I would ask if they have a septic tank. It just may need to be emptied.

If it's city sewage, then it should be reported to the City! They will send someone out to investigate and take care of any problems.

Does your mother have more than one bathroom in that house? If so, how does it compare? Sometimes as people age, they tend to ignore problems that need fixing just tollerating it, not really thinking about mold problems. They hold tight to their money and don't want to spend it on repairs. I understand that Tom is of this nature. . . If the city came out to do an inspection on the smell, perhaps seeing that bad bathroom will prompt them to tell Tom about the dangers. Is there anyway you could report it (pretending to be your mother?) and have someone come out??

Just a thought. . .

Hang in there and try to take care of you. My health over the past 5 years is a prime example of what stress can do to you! I've been told it can kill you! I came close! So, please take care of you!


Connie

Sky,

I was thinking the same thing as Connie, as we also had a septic tank at our other house, and many times with back up that would happen. But if not, then the city would have to come out in case it is city sewage. I'm assuming since there's another bathroom in the house, that's probably why whoever is looking at this bathroom is not real cooperative with getting the problem solved.

Calling the health dept. is a good idea. They will certainly have to follow up on it. I would follow up with an anonymous letter also. Once things are in writing, I would think they would really get on the ball.

Good luck with all of this, and let us know the outcome. And take care of yourself, as the battle might be just beginning, and you'll need all the strength you can muster.

jackie