I know alot of you have been getting viruses, but I hate this that we can't hear from everyone. Isn't there anything we can do??

If anyone needs anything, or even if you don't, let me know, and I'll pm you and give you my email address. Or if you don't want to come on the site email Aitan and I'll give it to him. Are you all sure your getting the viruses from here? Please ask your computer person for sure. It seems like everything is stopping here, and I would hate for that to happen. If its going down, then we have to figure something out to stay together. As the song says "Breaking up is harrrd to do!"

Come on, someone think of something!!

Jackie

I mentioned a while back that I felt I was the only one around anymore. It would be nice to come here and see that others are close by.
When you come by two days in a row and see that no one else has contributed, you begin to think you're all alone.

We may just have to start emailing each other Jackie.

joyce,

I've been guilty of that myself I know, especially that last three days. Had this God awful flu. Felt like I got hit by a truck! I think everyone that's in a state that has this awful weather season is in a depressed mood, I know I am. HOpefully when this weather breaks a bit, everyone will "spring" into writing again.

Until then, we can only hope that between the weather and the stupid virus thats going around, computer virus that is, that everyone can get back eventually, as I miss everyone too!

jackie

I'm bad about reading but not posting, so it may look like no one's here when in fact there may be. Of course that doesn't help if you need to hear from someone. My mom is in a holding pattern right now, so I don't have much in the way of questions or answers. :\ For what it's worth, I don't log in every time, but I do read here nearly every day, and I think about everyone.

Hi Jackie. I'm still here. When I read this thread, this is what came to my mind. It is definately a minority in our little group, that still have living relatives. And the others, are trying HARD to re-invent themselves. I can only imagine going from 24/7 caregiving to.....nothing. It must be a VERY difficult transition? The those that do like, you & Joyce, not so much me, are just crazy busy with caregiving? I do know that Carol is avoiding this site, because she got a terrible virus here. But I trust my "Norton" and it catches it every time. (knock on wood!)

I need to know I can come here, when I get that horrible phone call, or when something worse happens to my Mom. Or shcoked by my sibings behaivor. Or even just for moral support, ALL-THE-TIME! I am deep in an emotional ditch right now, and just trying to make it to a Bible study tonight, without crying my head off, and humiliating myself, in front of what could be, potentially new friends.

Every single catagory of my life is in a ditch. Health, Finance, Personal Relations, I got a Major Credit Card, stolen yesertday, (just the number, they were charging all across the country! ) forunately they caught it, and I wont be charged for the purchases, but I still feel violated, and have to cancel everything that was connected to that card, etc.

I feel like I am doing everything 'right', and everyhting is going so terribly wrong. Support is critical for me, so I don't want to lose our little family.

I am not GOING, anywhere!

You know Sky, I actually forgot about that, thanks for reminding me. Many people are trying to get away from the reminder of this terrible disease, and I don't blame them. They need to get back somewhat to a regular life without AD, and hopefully start enjoying what they lost the years they were such faithful caregivers. But I do know that they continue to check up on us and will be on here sooner than we can say "adcaregiver"!

You get so used to seeing peoples names that after awhile when you don't see them, you start to get concerned. But I know if they need us, they'll come to us, and they will always be here for us too. You can't beat the wonderful friends we've met on here.

And Sky, it will get better, it has too. I guess we just have to keep thinking that most have it so much worse than we do. So while you're crying, get on here and cry and get it all out. We'll listen.

Jackie

No matter how bad it is, there is always someone who has it worse.
The people here are like good neighbors. Not too nosy but always there when you really need them. I know a lot of people come and read but dont write. That is they don't write until they see someone is really having a problem, then they are right here to offer help and support.
Last night I was thinking of all those who have lost their LO but are still here to help those still going through this journey. To these friends I really say thank you for staying around to help us.

I'm here. I read every day but as you all know, I am on the other side of this disease so really don't have much to say.

You are right Sky, reinventing yourself is very difficult. Through all the emotion, frustration, hair pulling and heartbreak of caregiving, I still knew that it was the greatest thing I would ever do in my life. After that, everything else seemed so insignificant. I am however moving on.

I'm in class 3 days a week and have a lot of homework so frankly I'm tired a lot so I'm afraid I haven't been of much support lately. I will try harder. You are all so dear to me.

I have been here reading as well. On the weekends I read from home, rather than school, and for some reason I cannot log in from home...it keeps kicking me out. So the only place I can reply is here. Any suggestions for logging on at home?

Anita

I'm still around, Jackie. Just being a "bystander" most of the time.

I agree with Lori about the reinvention. It's been almost 18 months and I am still struggling with it. I've done some case management work with Hurricane Ike victims but not much more than that. Their needs are so high and so immediate. Couple those needs with the economic downturn and it's heart-breaking.

At any rate, coming back here or just reading your posts still feels the most comfortable, the safest place to me. I still find it difficult to share my caregiving experiences and feelings about it with others who have not been caregivers. I just never get that deep level of understanding and support that I get from you, my friends.

Joyce

I'm still around..allbeit not as often...I do check in to follow up on fellow peeps!!! I also refer this site to many people that I hear are going thru similar things...amazing how many are affected by this horrid disease....

Still dealing with loss of mom and going thru all that woulda, coulda type things -- guilt over what she truly went thru and just all that other crap that one goes thru....along with dealing with life...still also have health issues, money issues and other things life keeps throwing my way....I'm hanging in -- but there are days....I'm best just to chat with my dogs!!!!

xxoo
karen

still don't know where I would have been without this site to work thru all those wonderful issues that do come up....and again many thanks!

Karen,
Its so very good to hear from you. You sound a bit better than the last time you were on here. And dear Karen, you have nothing at all to question and guilt about. I hope I can continue to take care of my mother as well as you did yours. But I do know about the would of, could of, should of. Mines still here and I do that daily, but I do know that I do everything in my power to realize what mom goes through. But we are only human, and very capable of making mistakes and blowing off steam once in awhile even if it may not be the right time to do it.

And I do agree with you about everyone on this forum. I dont' know whatever I would do if it ended. And thank YOU for coming back and still helping us out. I know it must be hard on all of you to have to relive all this everytime you read. It so helps though to have experience on our side.

And listen Karen, we're still here for you too you know. You don't have to come here and just discuss AD. Most of us have gone through many lifes experiences with families and other issues, so we're probably well versed in many fields. So if you need us, let us know.

Jackie

Still here too. I've been checking in but no one has been around. And now I just clicked on that stupid crush center ad accidentally. All the sudden I see nekkid butts and boobs. Yikes!

Fanooch20, check your security settings and add this site to ones your pc should allow you to visit. Maybe that will help? And clean your temp files and cookies too after you check your security.

I think it helps me too, even after the caregiving is over to know the things I did for Mom were just about as good as it got. I had my doubts and wondered if I was doing everything to the best of my ability. Reading what everyone goes through, even now, puts those doubts to rest and eases my mind a bit. You all have helped me tremendously. You made me see it was human to get upset and discouraged, when I thought I was a terrible daughter. I really took issue with that.

I can really relate to what Lori is saying about it being the greatest thing I would ever do in my life. At first I sure didn't think so. In fact, I was thinking of ways to tell my father I just couldn't do it. Telling him that seemed to be worse than just doing it and seeing where that journey would lead me. I felt things I never felt before and will possibly never feel again with another human being. The heartbreak, the pain, and yes, some of the joys of experiencing everyday things through my mother's eyes. To her, everything was brand new and exciting, every five minutes. And in the end, I was able to give my parents the one gift no one could ever give them. With God's help, I enabled them to be together until the very end, as painful as it was. Through all my heartache, it was worth every damn tear I shed. That's all they wanted was to be together until the end, and they were. My brother told me caregiving was going to change me forever. It did and I was honored for the chance to do it.

Well, shoot, I went off on a tangent and I didn't mean to. Yes, I am around and like a nosy neighbor, I poke around here daily, sometimes not even logging in. But you can bet, if I smell trouble or a problem, I'm signing in and am going to try to help, if only just to let you all know I am here for you.

Snick,
I for one really appreciate you and others that have finished this journey coming here to let the rest of us know that it can be done.
If others can do it, so can I. I've always said I can do anything I really want to. If I can't, I'm going to give it my best try.

Was your mom bedridden at the end? Did you find caring for her easier at that time? It seems now that Bill can't get up and around that the care is easier. Or maybe it's just less worry as to what he is going to do next. I don't have the surprises like I used to. No messes on the floor, no dirty dishes mixed with the clean. So many little things that seemed so stressful at the time.
Is it my imagination or is it really easier.

Just this morning, I was laying in bed thinking about the period where he would be my shadow. I thought if I could do that again, I would not get so irritated but would reach out and bring him closer to me. That sounds so good right now. Things that seemed so difficult at the time, now don't seem so bad.
I'm not saying I would want to go through some of them again. The anger, the car issues and the wandering are a few I wouldn't want to relive.

I started this to just say thank you and the others that are still helping the rest of us. I hope when it's over for me that I am able to come here and help others.

Joyce,

It is not your imagine. As our LO's become less active, I, too, think the physical caregiving becomes a little less stressful. And you are so very right about once they lose the ability to do one thing, it seems to be the one thing we long for again, knowing we would never want them to be in that particular place again. But, as in all aspects of life, there really are no "do overs," just times when if we have the opportunity to do it again, perhaps we do so a little differently, a little more patiently, a little more lovingly. And we do so because we are a little less concerned with all those insignificant "things and tomorrows," and more focused on simply the moment, which is all we ever have anyway.

Joyce