That I got Mom to put on Depends this morning? Oh my, hadn't planned on it, but it somehow just fell into place. Although she doesn't really have bad accidents, I've been noticing that the Serenty pads she's been wearing have been wet when I help her change at night. And many times her underwear and slacks are slightly wet. So I knew sooner or later I'd have to get those depends on her. Little did I know it would be this soon.

When I was helping her change into her clothes, I noticed a little BM on it as if she didn't wipe her self well. So I got a clean pad and put in on her underwear. After we pulled up her pants, she complained about hating the way the pads feel. So I went to the drawer, and said "here, these underwear have the pants built right in, and will be much more comfortable." Of course she balked and said since her pants were already up, that she would try them next time. I made her sit down, pulled off her pants and underwear, and said No, we'll do it now. She insisted she wanted her other underwear on, and I said we would put them over the "new underwear" with the built in pads. When I went to put her underwear on over the depends, she asked me why in the world would I put two pairs of underwear on her! So I immediatley took the underwear off, pulled up her pants, and quickly redirected her to something else. She's had them on since.

Now mind you she hasn't gone to the bathroom yet, so who knows what will be said then, but boy, I sure got lucky. And hopefully I can convince her that this is what she always wears.

A question for anyone that might know this. I buy baby wipes, actually for myself, and I've been having to use them for mom for quick wipe ups. This morning she did not wipe herself good, and I had to use 4 or 5 of them to get her clean. I'm sure larger ones would be much easier. Does anyone know if they have larger wipes then the baby wipes and where I can find them. Hubby has been doing most of the shopping for me, so I don't want him searching all over for something that may not be there.

Thanks,
Jackie

Oh Jackie, I am so happy you got her to wear the depends without a whole lot of trouble. Let's just hope she will continue to wear them.

Way to go, Jackie. You outfoxed her!

I can't remember the baby wipes my dad had because he liked that fresh feeling too, lol! I will look but I know it was a pretty good sized container he bought. I would say for now to look up baby wipes and start comparing sheet sizes. Perhaps there is something even in the adult incontinent section?

Go Jackie!

I like Huggies, they are really thick and pretty big compared to normal wipes. They also smell really good.

You can get a big plastic bag of them that zips up for about 8 bucks at Walmart or Target.

Kat

Okay, wiping is the subject I am stuck on right now. I am happy to help wipe mom, but here is what happens when I come into the bathroom to try.

Me: OK, now stand up.
Mom starts to stand up, but begins to pull her pants back on (we haven't wiped).
Me: No, here, I'll help you stand.
Mom sits back down and starts to get a wipe to wipe herself. She is wiping while sitting down (which I did not know until I started coming in there) and she's wiping in the wrong direction).
Me: OK let me have that wipe. Now let's stand up and I'll clean you up, OK?
Mom: OK.
Mom starts to stand and begins pulling her pants up - we are not wiped yet.

So I am stuck in the loop of her thinking that when she stands she must pull her pants up. She is very rigid at this time and will not let go of the pants. If I do manage to get her to let go, she sits back down again. I am kind of at a loss. I really don't want to let her continue wiping the way she is - she is sure to get a UTI this way.

Judy,
I swear when I read your posts you have my Mom there with you. Those could have been my words exactly when she goes to the bathroom.

Try this when she stands up and goes to pull up her pants. Step on them, right in the middle. I make sure her pants are almost on the floor, this way when she goes for the pants, she can't reach them. I did this quite by accident the other day, and it worked much better.

As far as her sitting back down on the toilet, haven't figured out that one yet. I just use all my strength to keep her upright until I'm done. If I'm in the smaller bathroom, I'm not as successful. In the larger one, I just kinda turn her to the side so she can't sit again. Although one day she almost fell thinking she could sit. Had to kinda push her real quick to the toilet.

Let me know if you figure that one out will you. Lately I'm at my wits end. Everything is getting so much more difficult. Two months ago my mom was dressing herself. Now I dress and undress her and following a simple "Mom, lift up your arms" is a real challenge. Have to ask her at least three times.

But if you walked in my house right now, and saw mom sitting in her recliner watching a cooking show and saying I used to do that, you'd think I was truely exaggerating! I showered her this morning (oh God, another post) washed her hair and cut and curled it for her. She looks beautiful. So sad, so very sad!

Jackie

Jackie, I use Walgreens house brand of wipes for Mom. They're for adults, so they're bigger than the baby wipes, and I've been satisfied with them. I don't know if they're sold in bulk, though. After reading about Huggies wipes coming in a big bag, I may check those out for comparison's sake.

So far, I can still get my mom to let me clean her up, but sometimes she balks about taking her used pullups off (:shock:)---she'll get a death grip on them and doesn't want to let go.

Even though it's inevitable, it's so hard to watch them lose ground.

Jackie,
I did find a larger wipe at CVS, a drug store in Mich., don't know if you have them around you. They were only an inch larger so that didn't make much difference. The last time I bought LUVS at KMart, only because they came in about 200 quantity. They came in several smaller packages within a larger box. I transferred them to a papmer's container I had. I just pull out several of them at a time.
Bill also does the same thing with standing up and wanting to pull up his pants on the way up. He gets a death grip on them and I have to pry his hands loose, all the time being on the alert that he doesn't decide to take a swing at me. It is actually getting easier because he doesn't want to sit down on the toilet any more. He is afraid that he will fall. Now I have him stand in front of the sink and tell him to hold on real tight so he doesn't fall. Then I can pull his pants down and change him. He seems to understand when I tell him he has poop on his but and I need to wash it off. He stil grips the pants at times and I have to pry them loose. I also have to make sure he doesn't pee on me when I am putting his pull ups back on. He will go sometimes and tell me it wasn't him, it was that other guy.

Now for the transfer bench. He is now fighting the aides when they want him to sit down on it so they can swing his legs around and into the tub. The last time they were her, I had him sit on a kitchen chair and then turned the chair and him around to face the tub and lifted his legs over the side. He was then willing to stand up and sit down on the bench in the tub. I didn't stay while the aide showered him, but they said they got him out the same way. I am using "they" because there was two of them that particular day. One was training.
So if you start having a problem with her sitting on the transfer bence to get in the tub, maybe this will work for you also.

I'm glad you got Mom into the pull ups. Hope she doesn't notice.

Okay, Jackie, I'll try stepping on the pants. I'll try anything, really. I was at a total loss as to what to do! My mom's like yours - fast decline recently. A couple of months ago she was still able to shower herself (it did take a long time) and do a lot of other things that are lost now.

Joyce, my mom did the death grip on the pants and when I was trying to get her to let them loose, she looked at me in a way I've never seen before. I thought for a moment she was going to hit me...I really did. So I backed off at the time because I didn't have any better ideas and because the situation was too tense as it was.

She just had a wild-eyed look about her and I have never seen it before. She was fine when we left the bathroom (after she wiped herself). I watched and made sure she was clean.

We talked after and she always agrees to let me help her, then when the time comes it's like she's changed her mind.

Boy Judy, I hate to keep saying this all the time, but I could have wrote those exact words. Your Mom is the first one I've found that is exactly progressing and doing the same as mine. Its uncanny!!! Mine also was washing and drying dishes a few months ago, setting the table etc. Now, nothing!

Jackie

Jackie, is your mom having even more trouble lately with words? Mine can hardly get out a sentence anymore. Some days it's worse than others - today was the day of "no." Everything that was asked, the reply was "no." When I asked her if she wanted me to make fresh coffee or if she wanted what was in the pot right now, she couldn't say that she wanted the fresh coffee. I said "You want what's in the pot?" and she said "no" and I said "you want fresh?" and she handed me her cup.

Judy,

Mom does say no to many things, but she is also still talking pretty good, but just not always making sense. Or if I ask her if she's hungry, she'll say "I don't know"! If I give her meds, she says "you gave me those already". When she does try to put a sentence together, it's very confusing and I have to try to decipher what the heck she's talking about. Then when she says no to something, and I take it as no, she asks me why I didn't get her that cup of coffee that she said yes to.

If she moans about something, and I ask her if she's in pain, she says she doesn't know if she is. Or if it looks like she's dizzy, she says she doesn't know if she's dizzy. It's been getting more and more confusing lately to figure out how she feels. And that makes it hard if I need to tell the doctor things. So basically I have to tell the doctor how I think she may feel.

But I do notice that Mom says just "no" more often when I start to get impatient with her, which lately because I have not been feeling well, has been quite often. Now mind you, just now, she asked me when we were going to eat because she is hungry. We just ate an hour ago. She had two helpings of roasted chicken, stuffing, peas and some parmasean noodles. She ate really really good. I said to her Mom, we just ate. Oh, we did. So now I'm off to make her a sandwich!

later,
Jackie